Subtle Changes
by ReNeOed
Summary: A world in which Harry was never interested in Ginny, but instead liked Hermione. Her feelings, however, are the same as canon. After Hermione finds out about his feelings, Harry moves in with Tonks, who helps him slowly move on. Angsty! Asexual Harry!
1. Little Changes

1\. Little Changes

* * *

"HERMIONE!"

Harry fell to his knees beside her as she lay motionless on the floor. Neville crawled rapidly toward her from under the desk, his wand held up in front of him. The Death Eater kicked out hard at Neville's head as he emerged — his foot broke Neville's wand in two and connected with his face — Neville gave a howl of pain and recoiled, clutching his mouth and nose. Harry twisted around, his own wand held high, and saw that the Death Eater had ripped off his mask and was pointing his wand directly at Harry, who recognized the long, pale, twisted face from the Daily Prophet: Antonin Dolohov, the wizard who had murdered the Prewetts.

Dolohov grinned. With his free hand, he pointed from the prophecy still clutched in Harry's hand, to himself, then at Hermione. Though he could no longer speak his meaning could not have been clearer: Give me the prophecy, or you get the same as her. …

"Like you won't kill us all the moment I hand it over anyway!" said Harry.

A whine of panic inside his head was preventing him thinking properly. He had one hand on Hermione's shoulder, which was still warm, yet did not dare look at her properly. 'Don't you dare be dead, don't you dare be dead, please don't be dead.'

Whaddever you do, Harry," said Neville fiercely from under the desk, lowering his hands to show a clearly broken nose and blood pouring down his mouth and chin, "don'd gib it to him!"

Then there was a crash outside the door, and Dolohov looked over his shoulder — the baby-headed Death Eater had appeared in the doorway, his head bawling, his great fists still flailing uncontrollably at everything around him.

Harry seized his chance: "PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!"

The spell hit Dolohov before he could block it, and he toppled forward across his comrade, both of them rigid as boards and unable to move an inch.

"Hermione," Harry said at once, shaking her as the baby-headed Death Eater blundered out of sight again. "Hermione, wake up. …" He pleaded to her.

"Whaddid he do to her?" said Neville, crawling out from under the desk again to kneel at her other side, blood streaming from his rapidly swelling nose. "I dunno. …"

Neville groped for Hermione's wrist.

"Dat's a pulse, Harry, I'b sure id is."

Harry felt as if he had come back to life after dying again. Such a powerful wave of relief swept through him that for a moment he felt light-headed.

"She's alive, right?"

"Yeah, I dink so."

There was a pause in which Harry listened hard for the sounds of more footsteps, but all he could hear were the whimpers and blunderings of the baby Death Eater in the next room.

Harry pointed his wand at her and whispered " _Rennervate!"_ but nothing happened. He tried it again, but there were no results. He cradled her head in his arms, and asked her to wake up again and again but she didn't.

He looked at Dolohov and sensed a burning rage building inside him. It must have shown on his face, as Neville told him, "No Harry, we hab to find da odders."

He calmed down as he looked at her face again and said, "Right!"

* * *

The door opened at once. There stood Mrs. Weasley, short, plump, and wearing an old green dressing gown.

"Harry, dear! Gracious, Albus, you gave me a fright, you said not to expect you before morning!"

"We were lucky," said Dumbledore, ushering Harry over the threshold. "Slughorn proved much more persuadable than I had expected. Harry's doing, of course. Ah, hello, Nymphadora!"

Harry looked around and saw that Mrs. Weasley was not alone, despite the lateness of the hour. A young witch with a pale, heart-shaped face and mousy brown hair was sitting at the table clutching a large mug between her hands.

"Hello, Professor," she said. "Wotcher, Harry."

"Hi, Tonks."

Harry thought she looked drawn, even ill, and there was something forced in her smile. Certainly her appearance was less colorful than usual without her customary shade of bubble-gum-pink hair.

"Well, I leave Harry in your exquisite company", said Dumbledore courteously, "I cannot stay, I have urgent matters to discuss with Rufus Scrimgeour. I shall see you at Hogwarts, Harry. Take care of yourself. Nymphadora, Molly, your servant."

He gave them a bow, and went out into the yard; a few paces beyond the doorstep, he turned on the spot and vanished into thin air.

Mrs. Weasley closed the door on the empty yard and then steered Harry by the shoulders into the full glow of the lantern on the table to examine his appearance.

"You're like Ron," she sighed, looking him up and down. "Both of you look as though you've had Stretching Jinxes put on you. I swear Ron's grown four inches since I last bought him school robes. Are you hungry, Harry?"

"Yeah, I am," said Harry, suddenly realizing just how hungry he was.

"Sit down, dear, I'll knock something up."

Harry sat down at the table beside Tonks who looked at him with another forced smile. As Harry sat down, a furry ginger cat with a squashed face jumped onto his knees and settled there, purring.

"So Hermione's here?" he asked Tonks, suddenly feeling a lot happier at the news, as he tickled Crookshanks behind the ears.

"Yeah, been here for a couple days… She's sleeping, of course. It's just us two, waiting for Arthur."

"Tonks, are you okay?" Harry asked, a little worried about the behavior of the usually cheerful and upbeat metamorphmagus.

But she didn't get to answer as Molly exclaimed, "Here you are – "

Harry watched as her pot rose into the air, flew toward him, and tipped over; Mrs. Weasley slid a bowl neatly beneath it just in time to catch the stream of thick, steaming onion soup.

"Bread, dear?"

"Thanks, Mrs. Weasley."

She waved her wand over her shoulder; a loaf of bread and a knife soared gracefully onto the table; as the loaf sliced itself and the soup pot dropped back onto the stove, Mrs. Weasley sat down opposite him.

"So you persuaded Horace Slughorn to take the job?"

Harry nodded, his mouth so full of hot soup that he could not speak.

"He taught Arthur and me," said Mrs. Weasley. "He was at Hogwarts for ages, started around the same time as Dumbledore, I think. Did you have him, Tonks?"

Tonks shook her head.

"Oh! Well Harry, did you like him?"

His mouth now full of bread, Harry shrugged and gave a noncommittal jerk of the head.

"I know what you mean," said Mrs. Weasley, nodding wisely. "Of course he can be charming when he wants to be, but Arthur's never liked him much. The Ministry's littered with Slughorn's old favorites, he was always good at giving leg ups, but he never had much time for Arthur — didn't seem to think he was enough of a highflier. Well, that just shows you, even Slughorn makes mistakes. I don't know whether Ron's told you in any of his letters — it's only just happened — but Arthur's been promoted!"

It could not have been clearer that Mrs. Weasley had been bursting to say this.

Harry swallowed a large amount of very hot soup and thought he could feel his throat blistering. "That's great!" he gasped.

"You are sweet," beamed Mrs. Weasley, possibly taking his watering eyes for emotion at the news. "Yes, Rufus Scrimgeour has set up several new offices in response to the present situation, and Arthur's heading the Office for the Detection and Confiscation of Counterfeit Defensive Spells and Protective Objects. It's a big job, he's got ten people reporting to him now!"

"Is he still at work?" Harry asked.

"Yes, he is. As a matter of fact, he's a tiny bit late. … He said he'd be back around midnight. …"

She turned to look at a large clock that was perched awkwardly on top of a pile of sheets in the washing basket at the end of the table. Harry recognized it at once: It had nine hands, each inscribed with the name of a family member, and usually hung on the Weasleys' sitting room wall, though its current position suggested that Mrs. Weasley had taken to carrying it around the house with her. Every single one of its nine hands was now pointing at "mortal peril."

"It's been like that for a while now," said Mrs. Weasley, in an unconvincingly casual voice, "ever since You-Know-Who came back into the open. I suppose everybody's in mortal danger now. … I don't think it can be just our family … but I don't know anyone else who's got a clock like this, so I can't check. Oh!"

With a sudden exclamation she pointed at the clock's face. Mr. Weasley's hand had switched to "traveling."

"He's coming!"

And sure enough, a moment later there was a knock on the back door. Mrs. Weasley jumped up and hurried to it; with one hand on the doorknob and her face pressed against the wood she called softly, "Arthur, is that you?"

"Yes," came Mr. Weasley's weary voice. "But I would say that even if I were a Death Eater, dear. Ask the question!"

"Oh, honestly …"

"Molly!"

"All right, all right … What is your dearest ambition?"

"To find out how airplanes stay up."

Mrs. Weasley nodded and turned the doorknob, but apparently Mr. Weasley was holding tight to it on the other side, because the door remained firmly shut.

"Molly! I've got to ask you your question first!"

"Arthur, really, this is just silly. …"

"What do you like me to call you when we're alone together?"

Even by the dim light of the lantern Harry could tell that Mrs. Weasley had turned bright red; he himself felt suddenly warm around the ears and neck. He looked sideways at Tonks, who was actually sporting an amused look on her face.

"Mollywobbles," whispered a mortified Mrs. Weasley into the crack at the edge of the door.

Tonks shared a silent chuckle with Harry who was red in the face from having to hear that little piece of information.

"Correct," said Mr. Weasley. "Now you can let me in."

Mrs. Weasley opened the door to reveal her husband, a thin, balding, red-haired wizard wearing horn-rimmed spectacles and a long and dusty traveling cloak.

"I still don't see why we have to go through that every time you come home," said Mrs. Weasley, still pink in the face as she helped her husband out of his cloak. "I mean, a Death Eater might have forced the answer out of you before impersonating you!"

"I know, dear, but it's Ministry procedure, and I have to set an example. Something smells good — onion soup?"

Mr. Weasley turned hopefully in the direction of the table.

"Harry! We didn't expect you until morning! Hello Tonks, thanks for keeping Molly company." He shook hands with Harry and smiled at Tonks. "Hello Arthur, well I should be off now," she said quickly changing back to her gloomy state, standing up and pulling her cloak around her shoulders. "Thanks for the tea and sympathy, Molly."

"Dear, do come to dinner at the weekend, we'll see you then." Molly told her as she left.

"Alright, Molly… Thanks. Good night everyone." She hurried out and vanished into thin air in the yard.

"Poor girl," Mr. Weasley remarked as he looked at the spot where she disappeared.

"Yes, but well..." Mrs. Weasley said coyly.

"What?" Harry asked.

"Oh you know Harry, just boy issues. We were just talking about Arthur's new job, weren't we? You look like you had a tough night."

"Oh yes! This idiot was selling Metamorph medals…"

* * *

The cold night air was soothing on his throbbing nose. Tonks was looking at him; he felt angry and embarrassed that he had been discovered in such a ridiculous position. Silently she handed him back the Invisibility Cloak.

"Who did it?"

"Draco Malfoy," said Harry bitterly. "Thanks for … well …"

"No problem," said Tonks, without smiling. From what Harry could see in the darkness, she was as mousy-haired and miserable-looking as she had been when he had met her at the Burrow. "I can fix your nose if you stand still."

Harry did not think much of this idea; he had been intending to visit Madam Pomfrey, the matron, in whom he had a little more confidence when it came to Healing Spells, but it seemed rude to say this, so he stayed stock-still and closed his eyes.

"Episkey," said Tonks.

Harry's nose felt very hot, and then very cold. He raised a hand and felt it gingerly. It seemed to be mended.

"Thanks a lot!"

"You'd better put that cloak back on, and we can walk up to the school," said Tonks, still unsmiling. As Harry swung the cloak back over himself, she waved her wand; an immense silvery four-legged creature erupted from it and streaked off into the darkness.

"Was that a Patronus?" asked Harry, who had seen Dumbledore send messages like this.

"Yes, I'm sending word to the castle that I've got you or they'll worry. Come on, we'd better not dawdle."

They set off toward the lane that led to the school.

"How did you find me?"

"I noticed you hadn't left the train and I knew you had that cloak. I thought you might be hiding for some reason. When I saw the blinds were drawn down on that compartment I thought I'd check."

"But what are you doing here, anyway?" Harry asked.

"I'm stationed in Hogsmeade now, to give the school extra protection," said Tonks.

"Is it just you who's stationed up here, or — ?"

"No, Proudfoot, Savage, and Dawlish are here too."

"Dawlish, that Auror Dumbledore attacked last year?"

"That's right."

They trudged up the dark, deserted lane, following the freshly made carriage tracks. Harry looked sideways at Tonks. Last year she had been inquisitive (to the point of being a little annoying at times), she had laughed easily, she had made jokes. Now she seemed older and much more serious and purposeful. He wondered how just one rejection could have such adverse effects on a person.

"I'm sorry, Tonks."

"What for?"

"I, uh, don't know exactly. But I suppose I'm sorry that there's someone who is so extremely stupid that he's missing the chance to be with someone as brilliant as you?" Harry said, finishing in a questioning tone.

"Who've you been talking to?"

"No one. You just looked nothing like your usual self, and Mrs. Weasley just said you were having boy issues."

Tonks smiled sadly at him, "I take it then that you don't know who it was."

"I know him?"

"Quite well, I think."

"But I don't know any guys your age. Is it Bill? Are you upset that he's getting married?"

"Huh?" She let out a slight laugh. "Oh Merlin no, I'm really happy for him."

"Then?" He asked, still puzzling over the mystery of this guy.

"You know what, just forget it. Maybe you don't know him that well." Tonks told him flatly.

"I hate to see you miserable like this, Tonks. We all need you to be happy and make us happy. Let this guy go to hell. He's an idiot for letting you go."

Tonks had a genuine smile on her face finally as she looked at him fondly. "Were you always such a lovely person?"

"What? Me?"

Tonks chuckled, before saying "Thanks for saying that, means a lot."

"Of course, Tonks."

"It's Remus, by the way."

"What? Really?"

"Yeah, I know."

"But isn't he -?"

"My dad's age? Yes, I'm aware."

"Sorry, I don't mean to -"

"It's okay. I know. But yeah, I don't know. It's not like I decided to like him because he's so much older than me. But you know, what can you do?"

"So, does he not… Like you or is it the werewolf thing?"

Tonks sighed. "Both, I suppose. But I don't know for sure."

"I'm sorry."

"Oh shut up," Tonks said with a laugh. "I'll be fine. It's just… My first time actually going after a guy, and I thought… Well I didn't think it would be easy, but I didn't think it would be this hard."

They were silent for a while, before Tonks continued, "Everybody keeps saying I should move on. But it just feels like the wrong thing to do. I mean, aren't you supposed to go after your love? You can't just give up on something like… Like the other person not wanting to be with you," she said, her voice becoming nearly silent near the end.

"But I mean, what if he does?" She continued after a few seconds, "and he's just pretending he doesn't like me because of his werewolf thing. I mean, so what? I don't give a shit, I've made that abundantly clear. It's so fucking complicated, and besides, this whole You-Know-Who mess. I expect he doesn't want to get attached to anybody. And, well, fair point, I suppose."

Harry nodded, "Definitely complicated."

"Sorry. I shouldn't bother you with my stupid -"

"No, you should. Feel free to. I like this. Not - I don't like that you're having problems, I just like that I'm talking to you about feelings and - you know."

"We're nearly at the gates anyway, let's talk about something fun, at least. You need me to keep you all happy, dontcha?" Tonks asked with a grin.

Harry grinned back. "Yeah."

"So, what exactly did you think about my pink hair? Everyone was so divided on that."

"Oh, uh, I liked it. Is that why your hair's like that right now? Because some people didn't like the pink?"

"Oh, no, no. This is just… Days where I'm in a mood, this just seems like the right look on me."

"That's just wrong. Haven't I put you in a better mood? Did I not just tell you how utterly brilliant I think you are yet?"

"Oh shut up," Tonks said, unable to stop a smile from forming on her face, "you don't even know me."

"Well, I do a little bit. And honestly, I really like you. I just mean you're an awesome person."

"Ok, enough with the flattery now."

Harry laughed. "Will you be here in Hogsmeade?" He asked after a few seconds of silence, "or will you be coming to Hogwarts as well?"

"Sometimes, I expect. I probably won't have time to hang out with you, though, sorry."

Harry nodded.

"And here," said Tonks, before concentrating a little and lengthening her hair and changing the color to a dark blue.

"Not pink?"

"Does this also not look good?"

"Well," Harry said, stepping a little farther away from her to have a look, "it's different from the pink, less fun, but I think it makes you look more… Beautiful."

Smiling at the blushing Harry, Tonks said, "I honestly didn't know that you were such a sweetheart."

"I'm not," Harry quickly refuted.

* * *

" 'Slug Club,' " said Ron with a sneer worthy of Malfoy. "It's pathetic. Well, I hope you enjoy your party. Why don't you try hooking up with McLaggen, then Slughorn can make you King and Queen Slug —"

"We're allowed to bring guests," said Hermione, who for some reason had turned a bright, boiling scarlet, "and I was going to ask you to come, but if you think it's that stupid then I won't bother!"

Harry suddenly wished the pod had flown a little farther, so that he need not have been sitting here with the pair of them. Unnoticed by either, he seized the bowl that contained the pod and began to try and open it by the noisiest and most energetic means he could think of; unfortunately, he could still hear every word of their conversation.

"You were going to ask me?" asked Ron, in a completely different voice.

"Yes," said Hermione angrily. "But obviously if you'd rather I hooked up with McLaggen …"

There was a pause while Harry continued to pound the resilient pod with a trowel.

"No, I wouldn't," said Ron, in a very quiet voice.

Harry missed the pod, hit the bowl, and shattered it.

"Reparo," he said hastily, poking the pieces with his wand, and the bowl sprang back together again. The crash, however, appeared to have awoken Ron and Hermione to Harry's presence. Hermione looked flustered and immediately started fussing about for her copy of Flesh-Eating Trees of the World to find out the correct way to juice Snargaluff pods; Ron, on the other hand, looked sheepish but also rather pleased with himself.

"Hand that over, Harry," said Hermione hurriedly. "It says we're supposed to puncture them with something sharp. …"

Harry passed her the pod in the bowl; he and Ron both snapped their goggles back over their eyes and dived, once more, for the stump.

He didn't know what he'd been expecting. He'd thought maybe others would put their relationships on hold while the war was going on like he had decided to. Maybe he'd thought that Hermione was sure to have feelings for him and would wait for him. But no matter what, he still had a pain in his chest that he had never felt before. ' _Or maybe she's just asking him so he wouldn't feel left out and jealous.'_ He repeated that to himself as he tried to concentrate on the task at hand, but failed miserably.

* * *

"Harry's snogged Cho Chang!" shouted Ginny, who sounded close to tears now. "And Hermione snogged Viktor Krum, it's only you who acts like it's something disgusting, Ron, and that's because you've got about as much experience as a twelve-year-old!"

And with that, she stormed away. Harry quickly let go of Ron; the look on his face was murderous. They both stood there, breathing heavily, until Mrs. Norris, Filch's cat, appeared around the corner, which broke the tension.

"C'mon," said Harry, as the sound of Filch's shuffling feet reached their ears.

They hurried up the stairs and along a seventh-floor corridor. "Oi, out of the way!" Ron barked at a small girl who jumped in fright and dropped a bottle of toadspawn.

"D'you think Hermione did snog Krum?" Ron asked abruptly, as they approached the Fat Lady.

"No!" Harry replied instantly. 'S _he didn't. She's not that kind of -'_

"Of course she did," Ron said angrily, interrupting his thoughts. "Why would she say it like that if she didn't?"

' _Because Ginny doesn't know Hermione like we do. She's not - she wouldn't - hurt me like that,'_ Harry shook his head, trying to clear his mind of the numbness that was creeping up on him.

* * *

"Er," said Harry into the sudden silence, "shall… shall we go up to the party, then?"

"You go!" said Hermione, blinking back tears. "I'm sick of Ron at the moment, I don't know what I'm supposed to have done. …"

"Hermione, wait! Listen! Stop!"

But she stormed out of the changing room too.

' _She's just upset because she's losing her good friend, she thinks of him as just a good friend.'_ Harry repeated in his mind over and over as he went to the common room.

Hermione slid off the desk. The little flock of golden birds continued to twitter in circles around her head so that she looked like a strange, feathery model of the solar system.

"You shouldn't leave Lavender waiting outside," she said quietly. "She'll wonder where you've gone."

She walked very slowly and erectly toward the door. Harry glanced at Ron, who was looking relieved that nothing worse had happened.

"Oppugno!" came a shriek from the doorway.

Harry spun around to see Hermione pointing her wand at Ron, her expression wild: The little flock of birds was speeding like a hail of fat golden bullets toward Ron, who yelped and covered his face with his hands, but the birds attacked, pecking and clawing at every bit of flesh they could reach.

"Gerremoffme!" he yelled, but with one last look of vindictive fury, Hermione wrenched open the door and disappeared through it. Harry thought he heard a sob before it slammed.

' _Yep, just a good friend, genius'_ went through Harry's mind as his heart was filled with pain.

* * *

When Harry woke, it was several seconds before he remembered what had happened. Then he hoped, childishly, that it had been a dream, that Ron was still there and had never left. Yet by turning his head on his pillow he could see Ron's deserted bunk. It was like a dead body in the way it seemed to draw his eyes. Harry jumped down from his own bed, keeping his eyes averted from Ron's. Hermione, who was already busy in the kitchen, did not wish Harry good morning, but turned her face away quickly as he went by. His heart hurt to see her that way.

" _I …" She looked anguished. "Yes — yes, I'm staying. Ron, we said we'd go with Harry, we said we'd help —"_

" _I get it. You choose him."_

" _Ron, no — please — come back, come back!"_

But he knew she didn't stay because she chose him over Ron. She had chosen Ron long ago and he had accepted that, even though his heart ached at the thought. It was Ron who had chosen to leave them… It was Ron who had hurt her so much.

Later, after putting off leaving as long as she could, she and Harry grasped hands and Disapparated, reappearing on a windswept heather-covered hillside.

The instant they arrived, Hermione dropped Harry's hand and walked away from him, finally sitting down on a large rock, her face on her knees, shaking with what he knew were sobs. He watched her, supposing that he ought to go and comfort her, but something kept him rooted to the spot.

He was terrified. He knew he could go on without Ron, his leaving made him angry, not helpless. But even the thought of being in this without Hermione was too much for him. If she left him, it would mean the end of his world.

He was scared of losing her. He was scared of losing control when he was near her, saying something that he couldn't take back, something that would betray his feelings towards her, something that would make her want to stay away from him. So he kept his distance.

* * *

He stood next to her and offered her his hand. She looked at him emotionlessly, placed her hand in his and stood up with a sigh. He released her hands and brought his own to her neck to unclasp the necklace and placed it on a table. He grabbed her hands in his and dragged her to the middle of the tent.

Awkwardly, he started moving their hands back and forth. The way she looked at him, it felt as if she was trying her best to not let herself be happy. But he kept going on till the corners of her mouth lifted up in a tiny smile and she started to move a little with him. He spun her around and she gave him a smile that melted his heart. He spun around himself and was treated to her laugh which, to his ears, was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. As the song neared its end, they laid their heads on each other's shoulder and leaned into each other swaying lightly. Harry couldn't remember the last time he had felt such contentment. In a couple of minutes, they had gone from being so distant to being the closest to each other they had ever been.

Harry wished that the moment could last forever. When the song ended, he gave her a hopeful smile and they separated. In an instant, she went back to her previous state and walked away, not noticing as his smile disappeared. He walked over quickly to his bed and lied down, hiding his face, trying to stay silent, unable to stop the tears flowing down his face as his heart shattered into a million pieces.

* * *

"Harry Potter," Voldemort said very softly. His voice might have been part of the spitting fire. "The Boy Who Lived."

None of the Death Eaters moved. They were waiting: Everything was waiting. Hagrid was struggling, and Bellatrix was panting, and Harry thought of Hermione, her smile, and her laugh as they danced together —

Voldemort had raised his wand. His head was still tilted to one side, like a curious child, wondering what would happen if he proceeded. Harry looked back into the red eyes, and wanted it to happen now, quickly, while he could still stand, before he lost control, before he betrayed fear —

He saw the mouth move and a flash of green light, and everything was gone.

* * *

"I've got to go back, haven't I?"

"That is up to you."

"I've got a choice?"

"Oh yes." Dumbledore smiled at him. "We are in King's Cross, you say? I think that if you decided not to go back, you would be able to … let's say … board a train."

"And where would it take me?"

"On," said Dumbledore simply.

Silence again.

"Voldemort's got the Elder Wand."

"True. Voldemort has the Elder Wand."

"But you want me to go back?"

"I think," said Dumbledore, "that if you choose to return, there is a chance that he may be finished for good. I cannot promise it. But I know this, Harry, that you have less to fear from returning here than he does."

"But even if I go back, won't I be surrounded by Voldemort and his death eaters? Won't they just kill me again?"

Dumbledore beamed at him, before gesturing to a well that had suddenly appeared behind him. They walked over to it and looked into it.

They saw as the death eaters surrounded Voldemort who was lying on the ground, as they moved back in fear as he stood up. They saw as he sent one to Harry's body, and as they celebrated the demise of the boy-who-lived. They watched as Hagrid was forced to carry Harry's body to the edge of the forest. Harry looked at Dumbledore who was watching the scene carefully.

They watched as people came out through the entrance hall and the horror on their faces as they looked at the body lying in Hagrid's arms. They saw as Harry's body was placed near Voldemort's feet, as Neville came forward and -

"Good luck, my boy."

Harry heard Dumbledore say, his voice sounding loud and strong in Harry's ears even though the bright mist was descending again, obscuring his figure.

* * *

"Neville here is now going to demonstrate what happens to anyone foolish enough to continue to oppose me," said Voldemort, and with a flick of his wand, he caused the Sorting Hat to burst into flames.

Screams split the dawn, and Neville was aflame, rooted to the spot, unable to move, and then many things happened at the same time.

They heard uproar from the distant boundary of the school as what sounded like hundreds of people came swarming over the out-of-sight walls and pelted toward the castle, uttering loud war cries. At the same time, Grawp came lumbering around the side of the castle and yelled, "HAGGER!" His cry was answered by roars from Voldemort's giants: They ran at Grawp like bull elephants, making the earth quake. Then came hooves and the twangs of bows, and arrows were suddenly falling amongst the Death Eaters, who broke ranks, shouting their surprise.

In one swift, fluid motion, Neville broke free of the Body-Bind Curse upon him; the flaming hat fell off him and he drew from its depths something silver, with a glittering, rubied handle —

The slash of the silver blade could not be heard over the roar of the oncoming crowd or the sounds of the clashing giants or of the stampeding centaurs, and yet it seemed to draw every eye. With a single stroke Neville sliced off the great snake's head, which spun high into the air, gleaming in the light flooding from the entrance hall, and Voldemort's mouth was open in a scream of fury that nobody could hear, and the snake's body thudded to the ground at his feet —

Harry, still on the floor near Voldemort's feet, in a swift motion, brought out his wand, and whispered, " _Avada Kedavra."_

For a moment, everything stilled as Voldemort fell backward, arms splayed, the slit pupils of his scarlet eyes rolling upward. And then there was pandemonium as all the death eaters started screaming holding on to their arms, where the dark mark burned into their skin. The giants were still fighting among themselves. And suddenly, even more people were arriving, running through the grounds towards the castle. The screams and the cheers and the roars of the people watching tore through the air. The imperiused up and down the country were coming back to themselves. Yet nobody knew of the reason the battle was suddenly over before it had begun as Harry had covered himself with his cloak as soon as Voldemort had fallen and moved out of the way. He watched the scene almost in a trance as many volunteers came forward to stun the death eaters and get them out of their misery.

He stood still, unable to move as people looked around desperately for him with reborn hope after Hagrid shouted, "HARRY – WHERE'S HARRY?"

He forced himself to walk away, trying to control his ragged breathing. It was over. Voldemort was gone. Yet all Harry wanted to do was cry. He felt lost, and completely alone.


	2. Running

2\. Running

* * *

Even from the edge of the lake, he could hear faintly the celebrations going on inside the Great Hall. He wondered if anyone had thought to ask Kreacher to find him. It was only a matter of time. There was no choice but to talk to the aged house-elf if he was to do this. He wondered what happened if someone tried to send an owl to someone who had died. Would the owl just sit there? Or would it still take off? How did owls even find people? There had to be a way to hide himself from them, he decided. Otherwise, wouldn't it be possible for owls to be used to find criminals simply by sending them a letter?

He looked around. There were still a few people outside who would definitely notice if a house-elf suddenly appeared in the middle of nowhere. Besides, it was Kreacher. Would he even be able to convince Kreacher to let him leave the wizarding world. What would that mean for Kreacher? What if he found a way to get around his instructions to make someone else find him? Where could he run off to where no person from the magical world could find him? Where could he run off to where he could lead a new life?

' _Maybe I could find a job in the muggle world. But someone's bound to notice me, even in the muggle world. Do I have to move to a different country? Would even that be enough? How would I even go about doing that?'_

He wished again that he had Hermione with him. He tried to clear his head of the silly betrayal his own mind was committing.

Was this idea just doomed? How could he even go back? How would he explain his disappearance? Maybe he could just stupefy himself or perhaps fall asleep somewhere in his invisibility cloak in a place where someone could stumble upon him near where - no, too stupid. But, maybe if he couldn't come up with anything else.

He could come back for his last year at Hogwarts. It had been a long time since he had played quidditch, he thought with a grin. So what if Ron and Hermione were going to be there, together? It would suck, sure but - yes, he was being incredibly stupid. The idea of leaving everything in his life behind just because someone he liked liked someone else was so incredibly silly.

But what about everyone else? Could he go back to a normal life? Of course he couldn't. He wished he could stop time for a while. Just to have some time to think. But that didn't seem like a good excuse for letting so many people believe that he was dead. But wasn't he owed that much? Could he not take a few hours at least, explain it away as just taking a rest? Maybe he should do just that, he thought, closing his eyes. Then he wouldn't even be lying.

* * *

The feeling of excitement and relief that Tonks had been expecting upon finally finding someone obfuscated under an invisibility cloak was instead one of sudden dread. Why would he be here? On the ground, out in the open, what option was there? He had to be -

She quickly ran and, taking off her glasses, returning the world to a normal state, got down on her knees, feeling around for an invisible cloak and pulled it up.

"No!" she whimpered in disbelief and horror. It was him, with a smile on his face, looking as if in a peaceful slumber.

"No, no, no," she whispered, scaredly putting a hand on his chest, confirming her fea - "No!" She sat up. That was a heartbeat. She quickly reached for his wrist. "Yes, yes, FUCK!" She shouted, and felt the hand suddenly getting wrenched away.

He looked so scared as he stood up and backed away from her. "It's me, Harry, it's Tonks, you're okay, you're okay," she tried to console him.

He looked around in confusion, finding his invisibility cloak at Tonks' feet, suddenly realizing what had happened.

Tonks walked up to him and hugged him, for his comfort or her own, she wasn't sure, "it's okay, it's over, you're fine."

"How did you -?"

"Remember on the train?" She asked, pulling away, but grabbing his hands in hers, "I thought it might be something similar. The auror department got these glasses made to look for invisibility cloaks, a couple years ago. And I found you here," she said, looking around. "Can you remember what happened?"

"Li'l bit," Harry answered, suddenly feeling like an enormous asshole, "is everyone looking for me?"

"Oh yeah, shit, hang on," Tonks said, pulling out her wand and sending a patronus to McGonagall, before grabbing him in another hug. "We thought you were gone," she said as she pulled away.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh shut up!" She said with a sad smile. "Can you walk?"

"I think so," Harry said, looking past Tonks at some people looking their way.

Tonks got down and grabbed his invisibility cloak in one hand, and then waited for him to get his bearings and start walking towards the entrance hall, where she could now see groups of people gathering, looking towards the two of them.

As she watched, a bunch of people came out and started running towards them. She looked at Harry, who had stopped in his tracks, on the verge of tears, and soon, Hermione was there, striking him like a bullet and embracing him for all she was worth. Tears were running down both of their faces, and soon hers too as she watched more people join the group hug. She soon decided to join in as well, a laugh escaping her mouth when she did.

They heard loud cheers from the entrance hall as it seemed the Great Hall had emptied out to welcome back their hero. Harry's close friends didn't say much to him, they would have time for that later, she supposed, as person after person came up to Harry to shake his hand, thank him, some looking amazed at having touched some part of him. He looked decidedly uncomfortable at first, but soon was greeting everyone with an almost abashed smile, as if accepting that he couldn't do anything about how others viewed him, even if he felt like he wasn't deserving of their admiration.

She broke down into tears again when Molly and Arthur came up to him. Harry looked almost shameful as he apologized until Molly started sobbing and hugged him like a mother finding a long lost son. Tonks walked away, feeling completely emotionally drained.

She couldn't begin to imagine how the Weasleys must have been feeling. Or how Harry could even begin to blame himself for their or anyone else's loss. The boy had walked up to Voldemort to willingly die for them because he thought he could save them, and for all she knew, maybe he had. How had he even survived? She had no idea.

She looked back at the group. They had slowly been nearing the entrance hall, and were now almost there. She was sure the celebration inside would continue for hours to come.

There was a sudden outburst of laughter when Madam Pomfrey had turned up and instantly levitated Harry behind her to which he had responded with a loud "Oh come on!"

Soon, she was standing alone outside the Great Hall when a group of three came up to her.

"How did you find him?" Someone asked.

"Uh, I'm an auror. I knew what to look for," she responded, not wanting to tell strangers about Harry's invisibility cloak, which she suddenly realised was still in her hand.

"Woah, cool."

"Did he say if he lived again?" The girl in the group asked.

"What?" She asked, baffled.

"They say he was hit by another killing curse." The first guy explained.

"Yes, Hagrid saw it."

"Uh, I don't - I didn't ask, sorry."

"Oh ok."

"That's fine. We'll just go ask him ourselves. Thanks," one of the guys said, walking away.

"There's no way Madam Pomfrey is going to let us, you know," she heard the girl say.

"What kind of -?" She muttered to herself, now walking towards the back of the Great Hall, where Pomfrey had set up a temporary office for herself. Maybe she could warn her about people wanting to bother Harry, or maybe deter them herself.

* * *

"Are you hurt?" A young girl asked her, standing outside the makeshift infirmary.

"No, just need to -"

"Madam Pomfrey said you'll have to wait then."

"It's important."

The girl just shook her head.

She stopped herself from ignoring the girl and just barging in. "Look, just tell Madam Pomfrey or Harry, Tonks is here, and she says it's important, ok? I'm not a fangirl or anything, I genuinely need to talk to them both."

The girl looked back for a second.

"I'll stay here and stop anyone from going in, just in case."

"Ok, hang on." The girl said, going inside and coming back in a few seconds, "go on in. Sorry," she said apologetically.

"Oh don't. You did the right thing. See ya."

Inside, she quickly walked up to Harry's bed, where Madam Pomfrey was waving her wand above his chest. In the background, she saw another healer checking up on another patient.

She and Harry smiled at each other.

"You ok?" She asked quietly, to which he responded with a nod.

She waited until Madam Pomfrey looked satisfied before asking, "St. Mungo's?"

"Yes," Madam Pomfrey answered, glancing at the other healer behind her, "many of the injured needed to be shifted. The infirmary was damaged. This is just temporary to see who needs further care. You said you had something important to say."

"Not really, just needed to get past the girl," Tonks said with a smirk, making Harry chuckle and make Madam Pomfrey give her a disappointed look.

"Is he ok?"

"He seems to be. No chest pain?" She asked Harry.

"Not anymore."

Tonks looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Avada?"

Harry nodded and shrugged, making her laugh at his nonchalance.

"So, can I go?"

"Are you sure you don't require rest?"

"I do, but it can wait."

Pomfrey reluctantly agreed, "I suppose but -"

"You sure?" Tonks asked, remembering how he had been hounded earlier until Pomfrey had "rescued" him.

"Are there more people outside?"

"Probably, but…" Tonks said, handing him back his invisibility cloak.

"Ah. Thanks Tonks," he said, relieved. "And thanks Madam Pomfrey."

Poppy nodded, still looking at him as if hoping to find something that was wrong with him.

"Where do you want to go? I can walk in front of you and give you a clear path," Tonks suggested.

"I don't know. Somewhere quiet for now. Do you think the common rooms will be empty?"

"Um, might be. But I can't say for sure."

Harry chuckled and said, "The Slytherin one probably is."

Tonks laughed as well, before asking, "Want me to get Ron and Hermione on the way?"

"No, it's ok. Ron should be with his family and... Hermione with him."

"Then?"

"I don't know."

"Hm, I wonder if…" Tonks muttered before going up to Poppy and saying something.

"Might not need your cloak after all, hang on," said Tonks, rummaging through her pockets to find something before bringing out a chocolate bar. "This'll do. Do you need to grab anything?"

"No," Harry said, checking to make sure that he had his wand.

"Portus," she said, grabbing his arm tightly.

They both fell to the ground when they appeared in Tonks' living room.

"Damn it. Sorry, I thought grabbing on to you would keep me up, not the opposite."

"Oh, no, this happens every time to me too."

"I don't know how everyone else does it. Apparition's fine. But this, floo, they suck."

"I agree," Harry said, looking around.

"So, just have a rest, I'll go get you something to eat. Whenever you feel up to it, we can go back to Hogwarts, or the Burrow, or wherever."

"Thanks, Tonks."

"I saw you were getting uncomfortable, and there was going to be a barrage of questions if you stayed there."

Harry nodded.

"Hell, it's hard for me to not ask you questions."

Harry laughed and said, "I don't mind."

"No, let me get you something to eat first. I could make you some ramen or sandwiches or - might have a frozen pizza."

"Have you eaten?"

"Had a little bit at Hogwarts, yes."

"Then whatever's easiest for you."

"I could eat some ramen as well, actually. Do you wanna watch TV?"

"Sure."

"Here," Tonks said, getting up and bringing him the remote before walking into her kitchen.

After setting the water to boil, she came into the room and looked at the TV. "What do you like to watch?"

"Uh, haven't really ever watched anything properly."

"Ok, let's just put on some music, then. Go to channel... 42? No, next? Hmmm. What kind of music do you like?"

"I don't really have a preference."

"Man! You know, this is one thing I hate about our world. So little music choice. And exposure. Well, in that case, I don't really know what to suggest to you. Go through the channels and see if there's anything you like."

"I'll just join you in the kitchen then," getting up and turning off the television. "I like your hair, by the way."

"Oh, thanks Harry," Tonks said, looking at the reflection of her brunette hair in her microwave window to remember how her hair looked that day.

"So how have you been?"

"Good, good."

"How's your mum?"

"She's okay. I don't know if you know but my dad -"

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, it sucks. I'll go see her today."

Harry nodded.

"You? You feeling ok?"

"Yeah. Been a... Tough day. You wanted to ask me things?"

"It's just… Sorry about asking this, but… I didn't rennevate you. Were you, by any chance, sleeping?"

She knew from the increasingly embarrassed look on his face, before even finishing the question, what the answer was.

"To avoid what happened afterwards?"

Harry nodded.

"Sorry, I didn't think then. I just felt so relieved to find you alive that I didn't stop to think why you were there like that."

"That was stupid of me. I shouldn't have tried to hide. So what if people want to shake my hand?"

"No, it's understandable."

"No, I - I just didn't think about the people who must've been feeling… who were thinking I was dead. I should have, it was awful of me. I just wanted to escape for a while."

"I understand," said Tonks, bringing out a few packets of ramen. "I didn't tell anyone though. And I won't. So don't feel embarrassed."

"But what else could we say?"

"You were tired. You just got hit by an Avada. When you saw that it was over, you just felt an enormous wave of tiredness. It happens. Your body's running on adrenaline, and then when it's over, your body just crashes."

"I suppose."

"But what exactly happened? Why did You-Know-Who think that you were dead?"

"Uh… I kinda… Was."

"What?"

"Yeah, I don't know how I explain it. I met Dumbledore."

Tonks just looked at him as if he was crazy.

"Yeah, he said I could choose to go on, or if I wanted to, I could come back and finish off You-Know-Who."

"So it was you?"

"Who finished him, yes. Is the taboo off yet? I don't like saying You-Know-Who ."

"Oh. I'll ask Kingsley about it. But don't say it for now, just in case. And, I'd figured his life was somehow attached to the snake's. That when Neville got the snake, it finished him. But that was before we knew you were alive."

"It all happened so quickly. But I'm glad. What happened to the death eaters?"

"Something to do with the dark mark. I have no idea what exactly."

"They were all captured, right?"

"Yes, but there are probably still groups of snatchers about."

"Others in Azkaban?"

"Yes, though I don't know what's going on with the Dementors, they'll probably have to come back."

"Aw damn it. I just remembered. I forgot to ask Professor McGonagall. Do you where his wand is? You-Know-Who's?"

"Uh, no. Why?"

"I need it just for a few seconds, need to test something," Harry said with a chuckle.

"What?"

"There's a first year spell I need to cast, which would only work with that wand."

"What?"

"It's complicated, but yes, funny as it is, I think it might work."

"Now?"

"No, no."

"Ok, good. And almost done here. Could you open that drawer over there and get the sauce? … Thanks."

"Aren't you tired?"

"I am, but I'll go see mum first, and send a message to someone at Hogwarts, just in case Poppy forgot or something."

"Oh, we could ask Kreacher to send a message to Hogwarts."

"Kreacher?" Tonks asked in a disgusted voice.

"Oh he's good now," Harry said with a chuckle.

"What?"

"Yes, really. It's amazing how much he's changed."

"I did not know that."

"I'll call him after I've written it. Did you have anything to talk to McGonagall about except me?"

"Nothing urgent. And here, enjoy."

* * *

"Sleep well?" Harry asked, hitting the mute button on the remote control when Tonks opened the door to the living room.

"Yes. You didn't have to come out here, you know? I like sleeping on the couch."

Harry shrugged with a slightly guilty look on his face. "What time is it?"

"It's almost 8," Tonks answered, "wow, I slept the entire afternoon."

"Good."

"You sleep well?"

"I did."

"Did you get any messages?"

"Hermione responded. They all went to the burrow. Said I can come anytime."

"Do you want to?"

"Yeaah," Harry said reluctantly.

"You can stay here, if you want."

"No, I should go."

"Ok. If you want to."

"I don't wanna impose on you."

"Does it look like you'll bother me?"

"No, but…"

"I understand. We barely know each other, and the burrow's already like a home to you."

"Well, yes."

"I just meant, in case you ever need a place to stay, you can come here, if you want to."

"Ok. Thanks, Tonks."

"Do you want to go now?" Tonks asked, disappointed that the comfortable mood between them from earlier had now been replaced by this awkwardness.

"Ok, just… Give me a minute."

"Ok," Harry said, not noticing the awkwardness between them, instead thinking about the possibility of having to live in the same house as Ron and Hermione as a couple. He wished he could accept Tonks' invitation but he couldn't do that to Mrs. Weasley. On the other hand, maybe not living at the Burrow could make things easier for Mrs. Weasley. She would be surrounded by her family and her future daughter-in-law, he thought painfully.

"Ok, let's go," Tonks said a couple minutes later. "Floo or apparition?"

"Apparition. And uh, I can go myself, Tonks. You don't need to drop me off or anything."

Tonks chuckled. "I'm not coming to drop you off. I want to meet Molly and Arthur."

Harry nodded.

"See you there," Tonks said, turning off all the lights before disapparating.

* * *

When he arrived, Ginny was greeting Tonks with a hug. He could hear a little hubbub inside, making him wonder if anyone other than the Weasleys and Hermione was here as well.

Ginny came and gave him a hug as well when she saw him. "You ok, Harry?"

He nodded. "You?"

"I'm ok. Where have you been?"

"Tonks' couch. Slept the whole day," Harry answered with a chuckle.

"Aw, we haven't had any rest yet. We've just had people coming over the whole day."

"Oh, sorry for… Adding to the list."

"Oh shut up. You're not 'people'."

"Heh, thanks, Gin."

"So Ron and Hermione, huh?"

"Yes, recent development, actually."

"Really?"

"Today."

"Big day, huh," Ginny said, making Harry chuckle, which almost made him feel guilty.

"George ok?" Harry asked, stopping outside the door.

"No. Of course not."

"Yeah, sorry for asking."

"Stop apologizing, seriously. It's annoying."

"Sor-Right. Ok," Harry said, walking into the house.

"Oh it's so good to see you, my dear, come in, come in, we're almost ready for dinner?"

"Nice to see you as well, Mrs. Weasley."

"That's the thing she was the most worried about when you guys were gone, you know," Ginny whispered to him.

"Food?"

"Heh, yep."

"Well, she was right to. Hey did you get to talk to Dean?"

"I did. He's staying with Seamus in Hogsmeade."

"Anybody else here at the moment?"

"Remus. Have you talked to him?"

"No, not yet."

"Did you talk to Hagrid?"

"No, is he here?"

"No."

"I'll go see him tomorrow."

"Ron and Hermione are upstairs."

"I'd rather not disturb them," said Harry, making Ginny give him a smirk.

"Where are Charlie and Bill?"

"With George."

"Hogwarts?"

"Mhm. Percy and Dad as well. They decided to help out with the uh, funeral arrangements. For a lot of others as well."

Harry nodded. "What about the muggleborn ones?"

"That's what Dad's doing, I think. He went to talk to Colin Creevey's parents."

Harry was getting teary eyed thinking about the boy. "Damn it."

Ginny had tears in her eyes as well, when she suddenly chuckled. "You know, back in our second year, we, uh, almost started a fan club," making Harry tear up and laugh at the same time.

"No I did not know that," Harry said, sobering up.

"Hermione actually convinced me that it was a horrible idea."

Harry chuckled and said, "Good."

"So you and Tonks?"

"What? Oh no no no. She just took me along with her for some peace and quiet, really."

"Ah ok, I was a bit confused when I heard you were with her."

"No, no. Hey where's Fleur?"

"Shell Cottage? Bill and her home. She might come by tonight. But I'm not sure."

After a few seconds of silence, Harry said, "I should go talk to Remus."

* * *

"Hey Remus," Tonks said, sitting down beside Harry.

"Hey Tonks, glad to see you're ok."

"Me too. Hey," she said to Harry who nodded back. "what are you guys talking about?"

"Kreacher."

"Oh, is he at Hogwarts?"

"Yes. Tons of work there for house elves. Fixing the whole castle."

"Oh yeah."

"Do you think it would be safe to check Grimmauld place?" Harry asked Remus.

"No. I'll go check it out."

"I'll come with you," Harry said.

"No need to put yourself in -"

"Really?" Harry interrupted with a scoff. "... Really?"

"Sorry, my first instinct is still to think of you as a kid."

Harry gave Tonks a grin. "Can you believe this guy?"

Tonks just smiled and shook her head, despite her mind completely agreeing with Remus before saying, "he's a big big boy, Remus."

She was surprised by the hurt look that Harry suddenly gave her. Had she said something wrong?

"Just kidding, Harry, sorry."

Harry nodded again. and looked away. "I'm gonna go see Ron and Hermione."

"Well, thanks for taking the heat off me," Remus said to Tonks a few seconds later.

"I was just kidding."

"He's always hated being treated like a kid. That was stupid of us."

"It's like… It's like I don't know him at all," Tonks said out loud in realization after a few seconds of silence.

"Hm?"

"I just - I feel like I do, but clearly..."

"To be fair, who knows what these kids have been through in the last few months. And you haven't spent much time with him anyway, have you? Your joke there would have had the same effect even four years ago."

Tonks sighed and got up. "I'm just gonna go to mum's. See ya, Remus."

After saying good night to Ginny and Mrs. Weasley, she went outside only to find Harry whizzing about on a broom. She watched him for a minute or two before he came to land in front of her.

"Not as good as a firebolt, huh?"

Harry chuckled looking down at Ron's old broom, and just said, "yeah."

"Sorry about that. It was stupid of me."

"It's ok. I'm used to it -"

"Sorry."

"- You going back home?"

"No, no, to mum's."

Harry nodded.

"Seen Ron and Hermione?"

Harry sighed and said in a reticent tone, "No." Seeing Tonks' confused look, he explained, "they… kissed today. For the first time. I think. So, they're just… busy with that."

"Oh, right."

Harry just shrugged in response.

"Oh by the way, I promised Molly I'll come by tomorrow afternoon for lunch. Afterwards, I can take you to Hogwarts and see McGonagall, for that wand thing."

"Great. Thanks, Tonks. But… I can just go myself."

"Eh, you'll have to walk a lot. I'll just portkey you there."

"Of course."

"Well uhhh, see ya then," said Tonks, offering Harry her hand.

"Oh-kay. Bye," Harry said, shaking her hand after staring at it for a couple seconds before getting back up on his broom.

' _Idiot idiot idiot. What was that?'_ Tonks admonished herself when she got back in her home.

' _You already hugged him, what? 5 times, today. Handshake, a fucking handshake. What the hell is wrong with my brain? Fuck!'_

At least she hadn't done that with Remus, she thought. That was good, at least.

"He's a _big big boy_. In what universe would that even have been funny?" She thought out loud, as she angrily changed her clothes. "He beats fucking Voldemort, but no, he's a _big big boy._ You stupid piece of shit!"

She went into the kitchen and decided to forego the microwave and just used her wand to heat up a frozen pizza.

She mindlessly switched the channels while eating, her mind occupied elsewhere.

' _He's not a kid. Why did I ever think that he was?'_ The way everyone in the order had talked about him, it was a mixture of admiration and adoration, but also protectiveness. ' _It didn't matter how much he had to go through, he was still a kid.'_

Hadn't she utterly despised that very thing a few years ago when it was done to her? And she, unlike Harry, had been the most immature, annoying brat.

' _Well, not like it matters anyway,"_ she said to herself as she finally settled on a channel. ' _Watching cartoons, what a big big girl you are,'_ she thought to herself, sighing as her mind started the cycle again.


	3. Wrong

3\. Wrong

* * *

"Did you sleep well, dear?" Mrs. Weasley, setting down a cup of tea in front of him.

Harry nodded, choosing not to ask the tired looking Mrs. Weasley the same question.

"Good, good," Mrs. Weasley said, looking around for things with which she could keep herself busy.

"Anyone else awake yet, Mrs. Weasley?"

"Just Hermione, I think, dear. Oh I'll make her a cup of tea before I get started on the breakfast. What would you like, dear?"

"Whatever you feel like making would be great, I'm sure Mrs. Weasley."

"Oh, you're sweet."

"Here," she said a little while later, "would you mind bringing this to Hermione? She should be outside."

"Of course, Mrs. Weasley," Harry said, getting up before taking both cups of tea in his hands and walking outside.

* * *

"Not reading?" Harry said to Hermione as a greeting.

She chuckled and said, "good morning to you too."

"Sleep well?" Harry asked after handing her the tea.

Hermione nodded and took a sip before asking, "you?"

"Yeah."

They sat in comfortable silence, looking at the gnomes and the morning sky.

"Will you be staying for lunch?"

"Um, maybe. Oh wait, yes. Going to Hogwarts after lunch."

"I'll come along with you."

"Okay."

"About the wand, were you thinking of using the elder wand?"

"Just to fix mine."

"Oh. Good, I'm glad."

"Yes, I don't know what to do about the actual wand, though. What do you think?"

"We could try breaking it, but it probably wouldn't work."

"I thought that as well. Dumbledore would have if he could have, right?"

"Maybe we could just throw it into a volcano," Hermione said with a chuckle.

"Oh. Could we?"

"No, I'm just… I'm just kidding."

"Why not?"

"It would be too dangerous. To get to a position from where you could reliably drop it into lava. And -"

"Really? Aren't there pictures of scientists standing right next to lava?"

"Yes, but… Well, maybe."

"I mean, even if it doesn't get destroyed, it would still be unreachable."

"True. And we don't need to do it urgently. We could plan something, somehow. But who even knows?"

"Someone could figure it out. And then come after me."

"Or Neville. Are we making it public, the fact that it was you?"

"I don't think we should."

"Did you use -?"

"Yes."

After a few seconds, Hermione nodded in understanding.

"Thinking about it, it's kinda amazing that no one realized that I had done it. It must have been a bizarre sight, the green light."

"Some death eaters might have, better angle, but maybe not. I mean, everyone was focusing pretty hard on Vol - Are we allowed to say it yet?" She asked in a frustrated tone of voice.

Harry chuckled. "I don't know."

Again, they spent a few minutes sitting comfortably in silence.

"Are you thinking about your parents?" Harry asked.

Hermione looked at him in surprise. "Yes."

"Are they really in Australia?"

"They should be. But I don't know."

"Can their memory be reversed?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. Even if it works, it could damage them. And even if it doesn't, I doubt that they would want anything to do with me ever again."

"I'm sorry Hermione," Harry said, shifting to be able to put an arm around her shoulder.

"I… There's this awful little part of me that… regrets... that the war is already over."

"... Because obliviating them doesn't seem worth it now?" Harry guessed.

"Yes! I shouldn't have done it."

"You did it for them."

"I know. But I can't help thinking, now… That I should've done something else. I wasn't expecting to..."

"I know," Harry said with a light squeeze. "Do you want to try and find them?"

"I don't know."

"I think we should."

"But what if -"

"Imagine finding out a few years on that you could've done something. And that your parents might have forgiven you. Just imagine, Hermione."

"I know. But that's just the best case."

"Yes, and it's worth going for, isn't it?"

Hermione shook her head, shifting a bit away from him, making him take away his arm, "now imagine any other scenario. If it doesn't work, I could cripple their minds. If it does work and they don't want anything to do with me, I've ruined their life and mine."

"You could obliviate them again?"

"No! I couldn't. I wouldn't be able to."

"You could ask someone."

"No, I don't mean it that way."

"Ok."

After a little while, she said, "Right now, hopefully, they're happy. I'm not in their life, but they don't know that I'm supposed to be."

"What if they're not, though?"

"What?"

"What if they're not happy? What if they feel like they're missing a huge part of their life?"

Hermione sighed.

"I think we should stalk your parents," Harry said with a smile.

Hermione laughed.

"Let me know whenever -"

"Harry, you don't need to -"

"Yes, I do. You did what you did for me."

"Still -"

"I can take some time out of my busy life, it's alright," Harry said with a grin.

Hermione laughed before asking, "You'll be coming back to Hogwarts though, right?"

"Of course."

"Good. Because Ron isn't sure."

"Really?" Harry asked in surprise.

"Just because he doesn't have to doesn't mean he shouldn't," Hermione said, thinking out loud.

"But what -"

"George, the shop."

"Ah." Harry said, as both of them fell into sombre silence.

"I can't believe he's gone," Hermione said after a few silent moments.

Harry nodded. "I can't even begin to imagine how… How George is feeling."

"It's just so unfair."

Harry put his arm back around her shoulder as he felt himself tearing up. "Was Ron okay?" Harry asked after a few seconds, "I didn't really get to talk to him properly yesterday."

"He was... okay. Dealing with it. It's probably going to take some time for all of them to… Become fine again."

Suddenly, Hermione shifted and wrapped her arms tightly around him, almost nuzzling his neck.

After a deep sigh, she said, "I hate you."

Harry chuckled and said, "I said I was sorry."

"Too late, way too late. Did you not hear the way I cried out when I saw you? I'm gonna have nightmares about seeing you there, lifeless."

"I… I didn't."

"What?" Hermione asked, leaning away to be able to look at him.

"I didn't. I was a few seconds late."

"What do you mean?"

"I was still… Dead."

In response to Hermione's look, Harry explained.

"We haven't really discussed it yet. But… I kinda did die."

"But how?"

"I had a choice."

"What?" Hermione breathed out.

"Come back, or go… On."

"How did it -? What happened?"

"Killing curse."

"No, I mean. How do you know? After that?"

"I met Dumbledore."

"Dumbledore?" Hermione mouthed.

"And my parents, and Sirius," he added, "but those were before."

"The snitch," Hermione said after a few seconds of thought, "the stone?"

Harry nodded, "at the close."

"What happened then? What was it like?"

Harry chuckled, "all white. It felt like King's Cross to me, but Dumbledore laughed at that."

"Wow. And how - how did it feel?"

"It felt… It didn't - It didn't feel like the end of me, but it did feel like the end of my problems. I don't know what going on would've felt like though. But," Harry chuckled, "I'm looking forward to it now, horrible as that sounds. It doesn't scare me anymore."

"Was it hard to come back?"

Harry hesitated in answering. "Not really."

"You hesitated."

"My first impulse was to not come back. But after I'd thought about it, there was only one choice."

"Because of Voldemort."

Harry nodded.

Hermione hugged him again. "I love you Harry."

"What?" He whispered out in shock.

"When we didn't find you, that's what I thought about. I've never told you what you mean to me."

"You don't - you don't need to."

"I don't need to. I just want to."

Harry couldn't bring himself to say it back.

"Harry Potter, my best friend."

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just…" Hermione let go and shifted a bit away as she explained, "it used to be a really weird thought of mine. Back when we had just become friends. I didn't really feel comfortable with Ron, but the thought of you being my best friend seemed… weird."

"Really?"

"It seemed too good to be true, in fact."

"Good thing it wasn't. I can't really imagine what life would be like without you."

"Nice line," said Hermione, making Harry laugh.

"I love you too, by the way," Harry told Hermione, finally building up the courage to say it, nearly laughing out loud at the situation. After saying it, it just felt so easy. It almost felt like a lie.

Hermione smiled, finding Harry's hand and interlacing her fingers with his.

Harry looked at their joined hands for a few seconds, before asking, "Ron?"

"What?"

"Wouldn't he get jealous?"

"Not of you. It's okay, Harry. Just because I'm with Ron does not mean that you need to distance yourself from me. Is that why you went with Tonks yesterday? Harry!"

"No, I just wanted some rest, and she thought her place would be good. She was right."

"Oh okay, good."

"Yes, she apparently saw some people who wanted to… Interview me? Outside the healing wing, and figured I'd prefer sneaking out."

"That was nice of her."

"People didn't come to you asking where I was, did they?"

Hermione shook her head. "Probably wouldn't have looked approachable."

Harry nodded.

"I'm gonna go lie down on the grass over there, if that's okay with you," Harry said.

"Oh okay," Hermione said, pulling away.

Soon they were both lying down, staring up at the clouds.

"This is weird," Harry said after a couple of minutes.

"You're the one who wanted to lie down," Hermione said with a laugh.

"No," Harry grinned, "the fact that we're lying here... so carefree, that's weird."

"I know. I haven't done something like this in so long."

"You're wishing you had a book right now, aren't you?"

"Hey, I've got my wand. If I had wanted a book, I would've had a book."

Harry grinned. "I hope I don't knock anything over," he said before bringing out his wand. "Accio Quidditch Through The Ages."

Hermione laughed and shifted so they could read together.

"Let's read about the winners of the 1892 League Cup, shall we?"

"Ron's favorites?" Hermione asked.

"Oh yes, the most remarkable team in the league… The mighty Cannons."

* * *

"That's the one that Oliver Wood went to, right?" Hermione asked after they'd finished reading up the section on Puddlemere United.

"Yeah, though I don't know if he starts for them yet. Used to be a reserve."

"If you were to choose, which would you pick?"

"For myself?"

Harry thought about it for a little while.

"I don't know. The first name that's coming to mind right now is Puddlemere, but that might just be because I like their name."

Hermione laughed before she asked, "You don't have any favorite players? Any favorite seeker?"

"Well, it's not like I've seen any of them play properly."

"You did see Viktor."

"Oh yes, your ex."

"He's not my ex," Hermione quickly replied.

"He's not?"

"No, where'd you get that idea?"

"Well, you dated him, for one."

"That was a ball. I mean, yes, sure, that could be seen as a date, but we didn't date to see if we could form a relationship."

"What?"

"A relationship wasn't really something either of us was looking for. I think. We just found each other interesting. We didn't like like each other."

"Krum asked me flat out if something was going on between us," Harry said, sitting up, "he very clearly liked liked you."

"No, he just appreciated that I wasn't a fan of him because of quidditch."

"And wait a minute. Did you not snog him?"

"I did not snog him," she said emphatically. "Where'd you hear that?"

"Ginny. And she seemed quite sure."

"We didn't snog. We did… It was a very brief kiss. There's a big difference."

"You actually think he wasn't interested in you?"

"He was. Just not in that way."

"He was into you even when he came to Bill and Fleur's wedding. I had to lie to him to keep him away from you."

"Wasn't he hitting on Ginny that day?"

"That was why. After I'd told him you weren't available."

"Are you sure?"

"YES! Come on, Hermione. Don't tell me you were so clueless."

"Well, I… I did suspect."

"Unbelievable," Harry said, shaking his head as he lied back down, "all this time."

"I mean, it's not like it matters, is it?"

"Well… I mean, you remember that fight you and Ron had in sixth year when he… He and Lavender?"

"That was because of -?"

"Yes! Ginny said -"

"Why didn't you ever say so? That whole thing!"

"I think I tried once. Didn't go over so well."

"When?"

"I don't think - I don't even remember."

"Why have we never talked about this before?"

"Because… you're a girl, and I'm not."

"That's just silly," Hermione said with a chuckle.

"Well, yeah. It's probably just me. I don't think I've ever talked to even Ron about this."

"Well, I have also never talked about this… except Ginny, I suppose."

"That's not never, then. I win," Harry said, making them both chuckle.

"So, what about you?" Hermione asked a little later.

"Hm?"

"I mean, now you don't have to worry about dating someone and putting them in danger. And really, your fanciability would probably be a bit too high at the moment. Any girl would probably go out with you. So?"

I don't think I do like anyone, at the moment," Harry lied. "I mean, it's something I've avoided thinking about for such a long time. So…"

"After Cho?"

"Yeah... After the prophecy," he added.

Hermione turned her body and supported her head with her elbow to be able to look at him before asking, "you went out with Luna that one time. Did you -"

"That was not a date, Hermione. She's… Cute, but no, I've never thought about her that way."

"What about Ginny?"

"Really? Hasn't she been with Dean for what? 3 years now?"

"She's always liked you, you know."

"She's always been a fan of me, yes."

"I suppose that's true, in a way," Hermione agreed quietly, "well, then who do you find the best looking in our year?"

Harry tried to think for a few seconds before he sighed and answered honestly, "you."

Hermione's surprise was evident in her face. "You're serious?"

Harry turned on his elbow as well. "You're the most beautiful girl I have ever met."

"Okay, stop pulling my leg. Cho -"

"Doesn't hold a candle to you."

"Must be your eyesight then," Hermione said, lying back down, making Harry chuckle.

"Uh-huh," Harry said, following suit.

They were both silent for a few seconds, before Hermione said, "Thanks, Harry… I guess."

"No worries."

"So is there anyone... outside Hogwarts?"

Harry smiled and said, "no, sorry."

"So, so when Slughorn announced his Christmas party, who was the first person you wanted to ask?"

Harry sighed, before answering unconvincingly, "no one."

"That was a clear lie. Come on, Harry. We're supposed to be best friends."

"Supposed to be?" Harry asked, the hurt clear in his voice.

"Oh come on, Harry. Don't take it the wrong way. I don't mean - I meant, that as best friends, we should know more about each other."

"Ah. Well, right."

"So? Honest answer?"

"You don't wanna know, Hermione."

"Is it a slytherin? Daphne Greengrass or Tracey Davis? Can't be Pansy, can it?"

"No," Harry said in a disgusted tone of voice, wondering if perhaps he should take the easy way out and lie.

"Do you like someone who's… not single? Is that it?"

After a brief period of silence, Harry closed his eyes and relented, "Yes."

"Who is it?" Hermione asked excitedly.

'Ginny? No, already said no. Fleur? She's like your sister, you ass. Mrs. Weasley? Har har har. Tonks? She's single, isn't she?'

Harry let out a deep sigh, before saying, "Fine. I like Katie. Happy?"

"Oh! She's… She's super cute."

"I know."

"I didn't know she had a boyfriend."

"She did. Older guy, though. A couple years above us. Didn't ask her out until he was out of Hogwarts."

"I'm sorry, Harry."

Harry shrugged, secretly hoping that Hermione wouldn't launch an investigation into his little story. "I barely even care anymore. I… Used to like her, but I didn't feel anything special when I saw her again yesterday."

"Oh ok. Good, you're moving on."

Harry turned on his elbow, and eager to change the subject, asked, "Who do you think is the prettiest girl in our year?"

"Oh, um… Prettiest? Well, not just because of looks, but because of the way she talks, Hannah Abbott? She's just adorable."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you haven't talked to her much, have you? She's really soft spoken, and really nice. Whenever I talked to her, I left with a feeling of 'she's so wonderful.'"

"That's nice. I never noticed."

"I think you'll really like her," Hermione said, making Harry laugh out loud.

"What? I'm serious," Hermione explained.

"Okay," Harry said, before bursting into laughter again, thinking about the absurdity of the situation.

Hermione grinned, shaking her head.

After a few minutes of silence, she asked, "What do you think about Tonks?"

"What?"

"Do you think she's pretty?"

"Isn't that a pointless sort of question? She can look however she wants."

"Well, still?"

"Yes, kind of, I suppose."

"I've always sensed this weird feeling between you two."

"Have you now?" Harry asked sarcastically.

"No, really. She's always acted slightly differently around you than she does around me, Ginny and Ron."

"That doesn't mean anything."

"I think she likes you."

Harry sighed. "She likes Remus, okay?"

"Really?"

"Yes, or at least she did. I don't know about now. But no, she certainly does not like me."

"She might."

"What are you doing?" Harry asked sharply.

"I'm just -"

"Please stop," he said in frustration.

"Sorry," Hermione said quietly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to snap." Harry said after a few seconds.

"No, I was being silly and pushing you over stupid things."

Harry got up and then shifted close enough to her that their shoulders were touching when he lied back down.

"Sorry," he whispered again.

"It's ok," Hermione whispered back, reaching for his hand with hers.

Harry sighed. The guilt was eating away at him. Suddenly, he realized that two other people in the house were also on the same quidditch team as him when he supposedly liked Katie.

"I lied."

"Hm?"

"About Katie. I don't know if she has a boyfriend. I don't like her."

"Oh."

"Sorry. I - I don't want to lie to you."

"Why?"

"I told you. You don't want to know."

"I think you're going to have to tell me now, Harry, or else I might reach completely wrong conclusions."

"I don't want - I don't want to lose you," he said, squeezing her hand.

"You're not going to lose me," Hermione said with a sinking feeling.

"I will."

"You won't, Harry."

"I love you."

After a few seconds, he let go of her hand and stood up.

"I'm sorry."

"You mean -"

"I don't just -, I've been - I've had feelings for you for a while. Years, in fact."

Hermione sat up, but he turned away, not wanting to look at her, "why didn't you -?"

"You liked Ron. And he liked you."

"But -"

"I tried not to. I really did. But I couldn't control it. I'm sorry," Harry said.

"Harry, please."

"I think I'll stay somewhere else for a while. With Tonks or maybe Shell Cottage."

"Harry, you don't need to."

"Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry, Harry."

"I should have told you sooner, but I couldn't - I needed you with me. I couldn't risk losing you."

"You wouldn't have lost me."

"When Ron left -"

"Oh no," Hermione covered her face, tearing up as she remembered the dance.

"I wanted to tell you, but I felt… like I did, and…"

"I'm so sorry, Harry."

"No! Don't be. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, Hermione," Harry said, finally looking at her.

"I don't know what to say," Hermione said

Harry nodded before saying, "I'm gonna go."

"No! Where?" Hermione asked in a distressed tone of voice, standing up.

"I - I wasn't planning on this, sorry. I need to think. Just gonna go fly. Sorry."

Hermione sat back down when he started walking back toward the house. Both of them were trying to calm down, their minds refusing to work properly. They felt numb, and afraid, shocked at what had just happened.


	4. Home

4\. Home

* * *

"HARRY!" Tonks shouted. He rushed towards her before suddenly stopping mid-air after realising it was her. He looked like he was about to go back up into the air for a second before he came down to land next to her.

She was surprised at the look that Harry gave her. She waited for him to speak, his look of frustration bringing out similar emotions in her.

"What?"

"Hello?" She asked in a mockish tone.

Harry sighed. "Sorry, I'm not -" He went silent, his voice seeming to fail him. He shook his head and mounted his broom. He glanced back at her for an instant before taking off.

Tonks fumed for a few seconds before turning around and walking back toward the house, resisting the urge to do some target practice.

' _Fucking asshole.'_ She turned around and flipped him the bird. Her fury fizzled a bit when she found Harry hovering mid-air looking at her. She quickly pulled back her hand before turning around, but refused to let herself care how he felt. ' _That little… Fuck!'_

Molly was as nice as ever when she explained that Harry didn't seem to be in the mood for breakfast just yet. "Oh we all know how much the boy must have missed his flying all this time. I'll put some aside for him."

' _Doesn't give him the right to be such a dick,_ ' Tonks thought.

"Maybe I should just wait for the others to wake up," Molly thought out loud as she looked at all the food in front of her.

"Is no one else awake?"

"Hermione was. But she just went back up a few minutes ago. Didn't look like she had a good night, the poor girl. How did you sleep?"

"Good!" Tonks said a bit guiltily. "You?"

"Oh, I - Good enough, I suppose. Arthur and the boys came back in the middle of the night, so..."

Tonks stayed silent, having no idea what to say or do.

"Just us two, then. Well, here, at least I can feed one person," Molly said with a smile.

"While your food is pretty much what brought me here so early in the morning, I'm not eating alone. C'mon Molly!"

"Oh I'm really not -"

"Well, me neither then," Tonks said.

"Oh fine then," Molly said, "I'll eat. Happy?"

Tonks smiled. "Sure."

"How's your mum?"

"Good. She was really relieved yesterday."

"Did you stay at hers then, last night?"

"Oh no. She doesn't have a TV, so," Tonks used her prepared excuse.

"One of those muggle -?"

"It's like a radio, but with moving pictures."

"Oh yes. Amazing, aren't they?"

"TVs? Totally!"

"Well, I meant muggles," Mrs. Weasley said with a smile, "but those too."

* * *

A few minutes later, Mrs. Weasley found Harry lying on the ground nearby, the instant she came outside.

"Oh there you are. Come on in and have some breakfast, dear. I thought you were still practicing. You should've come inside earlier."

"Sorry, Mrs. Weasley," Harry said, quickly getting up.

"Well, it is quite nice out. But come get something to eat. You must be famished, all that flying."

"A little," Harry admitted.

"I made all of this food and no one is eating it," Mrs. Weasley told him with a smile.

"I'll go get Ron. Then you'll get to make more," Harry replied, managing to smile back.

"The way that boy eats! Ever since he was a baby, you know. But it used to be just so chaotic when he was tiny. You can imagine, with seven kids, for most - when they were -"

For a second, Harry saw the sudden shock and despair in Mrs. Weasley before she turned away.

Tonks came back from the bathroom to find Molly sobbing and Harry standing still behind her, looking dumbstruck.

She went to stand beside and put a hand on Molly's arm.

"Sorry -", Mrs. Weasley tried to say.

"Don't apologize, Molly."

After a couple of minutes, Harry brought Mrs. Weasley a glass of water, with a questioning glance towards Tonks who gave him a sad little smile and shrugged.

"Oh thank you, dear" Mrs. Weasley said with a sniffle, before smiling at Harry. "Sorry dear, I didn't mean to -"

"What did _I just_ say?" Tonks asked in an exaggerated tone, making Mrs. Weasley give her a little smile.

"Sorry, dear."

Tonks smiled back before asking, "do you want me to get you a dreamless sleep potion? I've got some at home."

"Oh that's okay, dear."

"I'll go bring some. You should get some rest. They'll help."

"Now?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, I'll be back in just a minute."

"Oh ok."

"Sorry about that, dear," Mrs. Weasley said to Harry after Tonks had left.

"Mrs. Weasley…"

Harry didn't know what to say. He remembered the end of his fourth year, when Mrs. Weasley had come and given him a motherly hug in the Hospital Wing. He wished someone would wake up already and come help Mrs. Weasley. At least Tonks would only be gone for a minute or two.

"I'll just go... wash up," Mrs. Weasley said quietly, walking toward the bathroom, clearly about to break down again.

Harry sat there, replaying the last few minutes back in his mind, wishing he had said or done something.

"Hey," Tonks said when she got back, "where's Molly?"

"Bathroom!"

Tonks nodded, before going to sit beside him. "Sorry about earlier," she said after a few seconds of silence, "didn't realise you were looking."

"What?"

"Oh you know, when I… The finger."

"Oh! Yes, no! I should be saying sorry. That was so rude of me."

"A bit, yeah! Never knew flying put you in such a mood."

"No, flying doesn't. That wasn't…" Harry trailed off.

"Sorry, what?"

"It wasn't flying. I just… I had a fight, with... Hermione," Harry said with a sigh.

"Oh! What happened?"

"Nothing, I just did something stupid."

"Alright…" Tonks said

"Is it ok if I stay at your place for a few days?" Harry asked after a few seconds.

Tonks' surprise was evident, "uh - yeah, sure!"

"Just until I've checked out Grimmauld to make sure it's safe."

"No no, that's fine. Stay as long as you want. What - what happened?"

"She doesn't… I don't know, I can't just - Thing is -"

"You like her?" Tonks asked, the conclusion seeming suddenly obvious to her.

Harry looked at her in surprise for a couple seconds before letting out "yes."

"And -?"

"And I _told_ her."

"So... She doesn't like you back?"

"She's with Ron! I mean, she… No, can we talk about this some other time, please? I mean, Mrs. Weasley's in the bathroom, probably crying. Could you please -?"

"Could I please what?"

"I don't know. But something."

"I don't think we can do anything, Harry."

"Give her a hug or something?" Harry said quietly.

"You want me to burst into the bathroom to give her a hug?"

"No," Harry said with a chuckle, "but…" he continued, sobering up, "maybe we should wake Ginny up? Or someone else?"

Tonks shook her head. "Harry… We don't know how the others are. We don't know if they're even sleeping. They might just be lying awake in bed. There's a reason I've got a ton of these fucking potions."

"So you're saying the best thing is to leave her crying alone right now?"

"There isn't a best thing to do in this scenario, Harry. If there is, I don't know about it. They're going to be miserable for a long time, they're going to be crying, all the time, sometimes completely randomly out of nowhere. Being a shoulder to cry on, I don't know, maybe it helps a bit, but I don't really see how it would help someone who just lost her son yesterday."

"... I just wish I could do-"

"Me too! But... " Tonks sighed, "our ' _helping'_ might maybe make us feel better, but them, I don't know, maybe a little bit. But - I don't know, man, it just fucking sucks."

"I'm sorry," Harry said after a few seconds, to having suddenly remembered something, "about your dad, I mean."

"Oh, right, thanks."

"We actually… almost... ran into him, a few days before he was - I heard him and a few others, they were camped somewhere nearby."

"What? Where?"

"I'm not sure. Hermione could probably give you the location, but… It was him, and a few other people. We heard about him a few days later on, uh, Potterwatch."

"But how?"

"I think some of Hermione's charms must have been increasing the volume that we heard from surrounding areas or something. I'm not sure. They didn't even know we were there. But we heard him talking."

Tonks was looking at him wide-eyed before she suddenly turned away.

Harry walked up behind her chair and wrapped his arms around her, putting his head on her shoulder.

"Am I helping?" He asked after a few seconds, making her laugh through her tears. Tonks leaned her head on his in lieu of a response.

"Thanks Harry!" She said after a little while.

"'Course," Harry said quietly, pulling away. "How's your mum?"

"Good. She was really glad it's over. I went to see her last night."

"That's good."

"Probably so happy because I survived. Was seeming unlikely for the last year."

Harry nodded, feeling a bit jealous for not having any family of his own who reacted like that before sharply admonishing himself when he remembered how everyone had responded after Tonks had found him.

"Hey, where are your clothes?"

"What? Why? Oh right! I'm going with you. Oh no!"

Tonks gave him a questioning look.

"Hermione has them."

"Ah," Tonks said sympathetically, "that's ok, I'll go and ask."

"She's going to think I'm going because of her."

"Well, yeah?" Tonks said in a confused tone.

"She's going to blame herself."

"Yep, probably."

"Should I stay here?" Harry wondered out loud.

"Honestly, I think it's really mature of you to ask me to let you stay with me instead of here."

"Yeah, but I don't wanna hurt -"

"Not possible! You're gonna get hurt. She's gonna get hurt. ' _Love,'"_ Tonks said, pausing to stick her tongue out, "hurts. Can't do anything 'bout it."

Harry nodded.

"Staying here isn't good for you, or her, or your friendship. Now, Molly and the Weasleys could be one reason why you might wanna stay here, but I don't think they'll mind, at least not _that_ much. And as for Hermione, she's smart enough to either figure out that you not being here is good for you guys, or if not, at least understand that when it's explained to her."

"I just asked because I thought it would be awkward with her and Ron," Harry quietly said.

"Oh! Does he know?"

"No!" Harry said quickly, "and he can't… The idea of Hermione and me together is literally one of the things that terrify him the most in the world. He once asked me if there was anything between us… I told him I love her like a sister. I don't want him to hate me."

"That's not -"

"Trust me, in that situation, it was the right thing to do."

"Alright, fine. Well anyway, remind me to get your stuff to my place before we leave for Hogwarts. Then, we could go straight back there afterwards," Tonks said, getting up. "I'll actually go check on Molly."

Harry nodded, and Tonks left.

* * *

Tonks lightly knocked on Ginny's door.

"Come in!"

"Hey Ginny!" Tonks said with a warm smile.

Ginny smiled back. "Hey! Good morning," she said, pushing down her covers and sitting up, "how're you doing, Tonks?"

"Good! You ok?"

Ginny shrugged but smiled. She followed Tonks' gaze to Hermione's bed where Hermione pulled the covers down just enough to be able to look at them and gave Tonks a tiny wave.

"Hey," Tonks said, going to sit beside Hermione, "you alright?"

Hermione closed her eyes and nodded.

Tonks looked at her for a few seconds before getting up. "Well, I was just about to head to Hogwarts. I figured I'd drop in. I probably won't be here tonight, so I'll see you girls tomorrow."

"Yeah, you have to go up and tell her," she said to Harry who was waiting near the foot of the stairs.

Harry looked at her with a defeated look.

"I know. I know it's hard. But you have to," Tonks said, lightly pushing Harry onto the stairs. "You can't just leave without explaining it to her. Oh, and tell Ginny that I gave her mum a potion and she's asleep. I forgot."

Harry found Ginny getting out of her room where she gave him a wide smile before giving him a hug, "Good morning Harry!"

"'Morning!"

"You doing ok?" Ginny asked.

"Yeah, yeah! You?"

Ginny nodded. "I figured I'll just get up. Have to sometime. Thought I'd help out - Is mum downstairs?"

"Oh, she's actually just gone to sleep. Tonks gave her a dreamless sleep potion. She didn't sleep at all last night apparently. So…"

Ginny nodded, giving him a smile before looking away. "Well, I'll just go get ready."

"See ya!"

Harry knocked at the door but didn't hear a response from Hermione. He opened it slightly and said her name out loud.

"Hermione?"

She pulled down the covers so that she could look at him but didn't say anything. Harry walked inside and sat on Ginny's bed. After a few seconds, Hermione sat up, quickly pulling the covers up to nearly cover her eyes.

He took a deep breath and started, "I'm sorry."

"No!" Hermione said quietly but firmly.

"I really am."

"Oh shut up!" Hermione said quietly, clearly on the verge of tears. "Stop apologizing!"

"I shouldn't have told you."

"What?" Hermione mouthed at him. "Shouldn't have told me? Is that what you're sorry about?"

"Yes! I mean, not just that," Harry said, "I'm sorry I ever developed these feelings for you. I shouldn't have."

"Oh for -" Hermione said exasperatedly. "You should've told me! A long - long time ago. You should've told me the minute you realised."

"Why? What good would it have done?"

"What good would it have -" She mouthed again angrily.

"You liked Ron!"

"Yes, but -"

"And he liked you."

"Not always!"

"And that's it," Harry said, tearing up. "That's it. He liked you and you liked him. Even when he was gone, I didn't…" He took a breath, trying to steady his voice. "I knew I didn't stand a chance," he said quietly, "and that's okay."

They were both quiet for a few seconds before Hermione said "I could've liked you, if I'd -"

"It doesn't matter," Harry interrupted, "not anymore."

The two stayed silent for a while until Harry picked himself up and sat down besides Hermione.

"Tonks thinks this is good. For the two of us, and our friendship. In the future, I mean. It'll take some time, but I'll get over you."

Hermione leaned forward to rest her head on her knees, looking sideways at him.

"I'm going to stay at hers for a few days, until I can check and fix up Grimmauld Place."

Hermione raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything.

"I don't know what to tell Ron. But don't tell him that I liked you."

"You sure?"

"Yeah? Unless… Unless you want to."

Hermione didn't say anything.

"Just let me know if you do," Harry said, with a sinking feeling in his heart.

"Okay."

"I'll still be around sometimes, and… Let me know if there's anything you want me to do."

Hermione sat back up and shook her head before wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

"Right. So I'll just…" Harry said before getting up and going over to Hermione's bag. It took him a couple minutes to get out all of his clothes into a small pile. He kept hoping that Hermione would get up and give him one last hug before he left until he was all done. He opened the door, forced a smile on his face, picked up his clothes and gave a nod looking near Hermione before walking out and downstairs where he found Tonks talking to Ginny.

Ginny gave him a sad smile and Tonks came over to him and put an arm around his shoulders.

"She heard you two talking and guessed, so I told her the gist."

Harry nodded before taking a deep breath.

"Be back in a few," Tonks said to Ginny who waved goodbye to the two of them.

"Come on. We can apparate right inside for now," Tonks said, taking some of Harry's clothes in one hand. "Is this it?"

Harry nodded. He followed Tonks outside where she held out her hand.

"Here. I'll guide you."


	5. A Day in Hogwarts

5\. A Day in Hogwarts

* * *

"I know I'm spoiling you by apparating you right inside again and again, but don't make it a habit, okay?" Tonks said to Harry once he was sitting down on her couch.

Harry nodded.

"I'll show you where I usually apparate to when we're coming home from Hogwarts. It's pretty closed off, but it's right next to a shopping mall. So I can get any shopping done as well. Actually, if you want, go through the fridge and see if you want me to bring anything. I'm not a great cook but I can try, so you don't have to rely on outside food, you know?"

Harry nodded again, with a slight smile. "Thanks Tonks!"

"I'll go start preparing a list of what we need," Tonks said, walking into the kitchen, before turning to face him. "Are you feeling up to it?"

"Sorry, what?"

"I suppose you don't need to come to Hogwarts today. I can pass along any messages if you want, and talk to people on your behalf. I'm sure everyone will understand. I could just say you're... recovering or -"

"No, no. I'll be fine," Harry interrupted. "But thanks, for offering, and also... Letting me stay. Thanks! I'll pay my half of the rent as soon as I can."

Tonks shook her head, "Oh don't worry about it."

Harry gave her a smile and got up. "And I can actually cook some stuff myself."

"Well, that's good. How come? Ah, Dursleys!"

"Yeah, Aunt Petunia had me up and cooking breakfast for them pretty much as soon as I was tall enough to," Harry explained, opening her refrigerator to take a quick stock of the things inside.

"I only started cooking in the last year or so. I had somehow managed not to all these years, despite all of mum's efforts."

Harry nodded. "Well, gonna be honest. I have no idea what to bring. You like fried chicken? We could get some chicken drumsticks and cornflour. Maybe some buttermilk."

"Eh, we can get some cheap fried chicken nearby. And it's super good. What's the point of cooking at home if you're just gonna eat stuff that's bad for you anyway?"

Harry chuckled, "uh, well, in that case, my current cooking skills would probably not be much help. You saw the Dursleys, right?"

Tonks laughed.

"But can't you just use your metamorphmagus powers to make yourself thin anyway?" Harry asked.

"Well, I can make myself look thin. But that kind of food would also have other effects on my body internally. And my powers can't really help there. Or maybe they can. I just can't control it, so I'm not gonna try."

"Ah, okay."

"Not like there's a lot of research into metamorphmagus physiology, you know?"

"How rare are they?" Harry asked, leaning over the kitchen counter beside Tonks.

"Well... Can't rightly say. Reason being, most would probably hide their powers. So it might be that every tenth person you see can change their looks a little bit if they want. Although it's still probably super rare. Besides, anyone who's really good at transfiguration would be able to do what I do with a wand anyway, it's not really that big a deal. I've never actually met any other who's openly done it in front of me though, if that's what you're asking. So all of my 'powers', I've just discovered them myself or from a couple books. Like, when I was really young, I read in a book that they saw a metamorphmagus was able to make their eyelashes longer, so I tried that, copied a few people on TV. Stuff like that."

"Why didn't you keep it a secret then?"

"Oh, you know... I just didn't want to hide it, so..."

"Can I tell you a secret?" Harry asked in a whisper.

"What?"

"I think it's super cool. Ever since I saw you for the first time. Even if someone could do it with a wand, it's not the same."

Tonks laughed and said, "man! I thought you were gonna say you're secretly a metamorph too!"

"Oh I wish! It would've helped me so much at Hogwarts."

"Oh yeah it would've. I remember, even during my last year, that's the year before you came to Hogwarts, a lot of us seventh years were actually bummed out that we were gonna miss out on meeting you."

"Well, I'm glad you weren't there to be disappointed," Harry said with a smirk.

Tonks laughed. "I remember seeings some photos of you when you started Hogwarts. You were so adorable!" Tonks finished with a tiny punch to Harry's shoulder.

"Wait, how did you see those?"

"Uh... The prophet? Photos of you were in there after your first Diagon Alley trip, and your first day in Hogwarts."

"What?"

"Dude, you're a big deal."

"No, it's just... No one asked me, or told me."

"Well, you were the talk of the town, or at least the talk among the auror trainees for a couple days."

"Wow. I didn't even know."

"Well yeah, you didn't know you were famous at the time, right?"

"A little bit. Everyone wanted to say hello when I first got to Diagon Alley. But I didn't know I was in the news."

"Understandable."

"I remember, when I first met Hermione, the first thing she said to me was, 'Oh I know all about you of course,'" Harry said with a laugh, "then she listed off all of these books I was apparently mentioned in. Even then, a small part of my brain went, 'who's this person who knows me so well?' But, well..." He finished with a sigh.

Tonks reached out a hand to hold his. "You'll be okay," she said after a few seconds, "eventually."

Harry gave her a smile. "Thanks, Tonks."

"So should we get to Hogwarts?"

"Wait, now?"

"We could go anytime you want. I'm sure there'd be something we could help out with. We don't have a fixed appointment or anything."

"Uh, well, sure."

"Okay, give me a minute. I need the loo, then I'll go back and talk to Ginny. You can take a bath in the meantime."

* * *

"Already back?" Harry asked to Tonks, who was sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Damn, your hair looks exactly the same."

"Shouldn't it?"

"Shouldn't the water, like," Tonks asked, getting up and bringing her hands to his hair, "keep it down for a few minutes?"

She tried to smooth his hair out, but it sprang back into its usually messy state.

"Sweet," she said with a grin, before running her hands through his hair again.

"I can sit down in front of you, if you want to play with it some more," Harry offered, feeling a bit uncomfortable with her closeness while she reached her hands to his hair.

Tonks laughed, quickly bringing her hands back. "Sorry, you ready to go?"

Harry nodded.

"Alright, well, here, a copy of the key."

"Oh thanks!"

"Alright, let's go. I'll show you the usual apparition spot I use. To be honest, I don't really mind that much if you apparate right in here, but... This is what everyone does."

"Don't most people use the floo though?"

"Argh. I hate the floo. What's the point? Well, I suppose if you've got kids, but... Yeah, apparate in, floo in, apparate nearby and come in through the door. Do whatever. Your home now!"

Harry gave her a smile and said, "alright."

"Lights off, no water running, I got my key, wand, some money" Tonks quickly checked off mentally while patting herself. "Ready to go?"

Harry nodded again.

"Oh, and the Hogwarts wards are up. So, it will be a little bit of a walk to Hogwarts."

"That's okay."

They went down the stairs in silence before Tonks asked, "so what are your plans?"

"My plans?"

"After Hogwarts?"

"The same as you, actually. Auror!"

"Oh!"

"Or it used to be, at least."

"Oh?"

"I haven't really thought about it that much in a while. Earlier, before... You-Know... Can we say the name again?"

"Whose? Oh, Voldy-Voldy's? Yeah! Absolutely!"

"Right, when Voldemort was in the picture, being an auror seemed like an obvious thing, before he took over the Ministry and all, of course."

"Makes sense, I suppose, given your history," Tonks said.

"Yeah, I mean, if he was going to come after me anyway, seemed like a good idea to get trained in fighting bad guys."

Tonks chuckled, "Fighting bad guys! Such a nice way to put it."

"But now, I don't know. In fact, now I've got some incentive not to be in a situation where I'm likely to be in a fight."

"I'd say... you've had enough stress for a lifetime," Tonks said.

"Yeah, I don't know," Harry said, almost to himself, "maybe I should just be a quidditch player."

"Are you good?" Tonks asked.

"Yeah," Harry said hesitantly, "I suppose."

Tonks laughed. "From what I've heard, you're a god at flying."

"Well, no... I've seen Viktor Krum, and he's -"

"He's literally trained all of his life to be a seeker, while you've had a bunch of other things in your lap."

"Still..."

"Well, whichever way you go, I look forward to it. Seeing you on a broom, or training you up to be my partner in fighting bad guys," Tonks said with a wink, making Harry laugh.

"Anyway, here. In this alleyway. Remember the shops beside it. Anyway, usually, it's pretty empty, as it is now. So, we go in, and there's this space here, right in between these two buildings here, so it's fairly safe. Usually an even safer option is to first apparate right on top of that building, then see if there's anybody here. If there is, then I'd say just apparate home. It's not like anyone cares."

"Alright," Harry said, after having a good look around.

"Ok, here," Tonks said, taking Harry's hand, "we're going near where the Hogwarts Express stops, but I'll guide you anyway. 3... 2... 1."

When they appeared, she let go of his hand and started walking towards Hogwarts.

"How is the auror training, by the way? Did you like it?"

"For me, it was amazing! But gonna be honest, everyone's experience is different, especially in different years. Fudge fucked around with MLE's budget so much that the training for my year was different from the training for the year before as well as the year after. Same for them. And now... Who knows how they'll change.

First of all, there aren't even that many actual aurors left who are working for the department. After the last couple years, you know. But anyway, now I reckon, first there would be an effort to rehire the people who left the force recently. But, because of MLE's budget requirements, it's gonna depend on what the next minister will be like.

Also, it definitely sucks, in some ways. As I said, I loved the training, and I love the job, as a whole. So I'm not saying it's bad. But, it's super stressful, it can be dangerous, even the training, you can be isolated for weeks, and then the training doesn't even prepare you for most parts of it. Even when you start the job, for months, if not years, you feel incompetent, not knowing what to do. So, yeah, for most people, they love some parts of it, and hate some parts of it. Me, I just don't hate the shit parts as much as I like the job. But... I've got no idea what the next few years will be like, both for training and the job. I mean, I know not all criminals were working under Voldemort, but still, a shit ton of them were. You single handedly took out so many of them red-handed. I reckon some of them are still going to somehow get off scot-free, but let's see."

"Has anyone found what the hell happened to them when Voldemort died?"

"Nope. Maybe some of the death eaters know, but..." Tonks said with a shrug.

"What happened to those who were there without the mark?"

"They all kinda gave up in that instant, I don't know if you saw... Or remember. I reckon they'll be treated differently in the trials. At least a few of them were definitely under the imperius. Others are going to claim that they were."

Harry nodded, a cold look on his face.

"What about death eaters who weren't there at the time? Would the dark mark still be visible?"

"I... Have no idea. But do you think there would be any who weren't there?"

"Oh yeah. Absolutely."

"I don't know. Well maybe. But anyway, the caught ones will all be interrogated. And since there are so many of them, some of them are bound to screw over the unknown ones."

"Good!"

"Man, I love this place!" Tonks said after a few seconds of silence.

"This path?"

"Hogwarts!" Tonks replied with a laugh.

"Me too!"

"It's just so goddamn -" "Magical?" Harry completed the sentence with her.

"Hell, even the air feels special."

"The first time I had to leave, at the end of my first year, I think I said that it feels like leaving home."

"Ok, not that for me. I was kinda glad to be going home back then. But for you, yeah the Dursleys."

"Yep. Oh yeah, that was the time when they locked me in my room, and then, the Weasley twins and Ron came to save me."

"What?"

"Yeah, and, oh, that was when I met Dobby. Did you know Dobby?"

Tonks shook her head.

"He was..." Harry said, loudly exhaling before taking in a deep breath, "the Malfoys' elf. He knew they wanted to do something at Hogwarts that year, so he tried to stop me from going. He stopped all my letters, and... Hell, even blocked me and Ron from getting to Platform 9 and 3 quarters. I don't know if you saw it at the time, but... Uh, Ron and I went to Hogwarts in a flying -"

"Flying car! Oh yeah I remember. I didn't know you were in it though."

"I was. Anyway, just by chance, I was able to get him free at the end of the year. Tricked Malfoy into giving him a sock."

Tonks grinned at him and said, "sweet!"

Harry continued, "he then worked at Hogwarts for a few years."

He stopped for a few seconds before saying, "I don't know if you know, but we got captured last year."

"I know."

"Well, Dobby was with Aberforth at the time. I was able to get him a message that we were stuck, though I didn't know I was talking to him. But... He sent Dobby. Dobby saved us. Bellatrix had Hermione. We saved her, but she got Dobby."

"Oh," Tonks let out a gasp.

"He's buried near Shell Cottage. It was a nice spot."

Tonks took his hand in hers and said nothing.

Harry sighed with a shaky exhale.

"Thanks," Harry said after about a minute.

"Of course," Tonks replied and with one final squeeze, let go his hand.

"Hey, do you like quidditch?" Harry asked after a little while.

"Love it! But, now don't be offended. But I wish seekers weren't so fucking overpowered."

"Seekers? Overpowered?" Harry asked with a grin.

"Yeah, come on. It's like, they are the only ones that matter in what? 80% of the games?"

"It is weird."

"I mean, in most games, what's even the point of the rest of the team?"

"Ever been to see a game?"

"Other than at Hogwarts? I have, a couple times, but mostly as part of my job. Pretty much every time, one team was leading by 3 or 4 goals when the snitch was caught, but of course, unless you're either leading or losing by 15, it doesn't matter. So," Tonks finished with a sigh.

Harry laughed. "Do you have any favorite team? Harpies?"

"I suppose, why not? I don't really care about any other team, also one of my friends' sister is actually on the team, so... But anyway, whichever team you go to, they'll be my new favorites, for sure."

Harry laughed and said, "even the Chudley Cannons?"

"You on the Cannons? Oh man," Tonks said with a laugh, "I'd love to see that."

"They're Ron's favorite team."

"Like, as a joke?"

"Uh, sure, let's go with that," Harry said with a grin.

* * *

"You sure you'll be ok?"

Harry gave Tonks a wide grin before nodding and saying, "I'm sure I'll survive."

"Aw, I was enjoying being all body-guardy for you."

Harry laughed, "I don't think McGonagall will be as bad as that reporter."

"Alright, I'll go see Madam Pomfrey in the meantime. You can have your secret meeting with McGonagall without me."

"Sorry, it really is sensitive information."

"I'm just kidding, Harry. Oh, you know how to send a message patronus, right?"

"I think so," Harry replied.

"Want to try?"

A few seconds later, Harry's patronus repeated Harry's "Wotcher!" to Tonks.

"Sweet! Alright then, let me know when you wanna go home or do something else."

Tonks waved to him and left for the infirmary.

The gargoyle politely moved to let Harry pass when he gave it the password. McGonagall, like Dumbledore, didn't wait for him to knock before saying "come in."

"Mr. Potter," she greeted him formally, although with some warmth that he didn't usually associate with her.

"Hello Professor McGonagall, it's good to see you."

"You as well," McGonagall replied, gesturing towards the seats in front of Harry.

"I hope you weren't too busy at the moment."

"I can always set aside some time for you. I'm sure you have important things to discuss," McGonagall said, with a glance towards the Pensieve.

Harry nodded. "Yes. Professor, who has access to the wand Voldemort was using yesterday?"

McGonagall raised her eyebrows. "Although it is here at Hogwarts at the moment along with his remains, I'm afraid the MLE would be in charge of who accesses it."

"That was Dumbledore's wand. Voldemort stole it from his tomb."

"I suspected as much."

"Do you know about it?"

"About the wand?" McGonagall asked.

"It's the Elder Wand. The Deathstick."

"Mr. Potter, that is... Are you sure?"

Harry nodded, before gesturing towards the Pensieve. "Have you seen the memories?"

"Yes, however I'm certain I need some more time to understand their implications."

"Dumbledore wanted to be the last rightful owner of the wand. He won it from Grindelwald. He asked Snape to kill him, so even if Snape did, the Wand's allegiance would not switch to Snape. But before Snape killed him, Draco Malfoy was able to win the wand from Dumbledore, right before he died."

"So the Wand's allegiance -"

Harry shook his head, "Voldemort thought that Snape must be its owner, so he killed Snape. His body's in the Shrieking Shack. I'm not sure if you -" McGonagall nodded. "Well, as for Malfoy, a month or so ago, I won his actual wand, and I suppose, with it, the allegiance of the Elder Wand."

"So, currently you are -"

"Yes, and only you, I, Hermione and maybe Ron know this, unless Voldemort trusted some Death Eaters with this information, although I highly doubt that he did."

"So as the rightful owner, you would like to have this Wand," McGonagall said reluctantly.

"No!" Harry said quickly, making McGonagall sigh in relief, "absolutely not! I would not like to have this wand. I would, however, like to use that wand to repair my original wand, which is currently broken. After that, I would like the Wand to be either destroyed, or somehow made nearly impossible to access."

"And how would we -?"

"I don't know. I don't know whether or how Dumbledore tried to do destroy it, but... I'd like to try."

McGonagall nodded.

They were both quiet for a few seconds before McGonagall asked, "I will relay your request to Kingsley, who should be able to arrange for you to access this wand today. How would you safeguard the Wand during your attempts to destroy it?"

Harry shook his head and said, "I don't know, Professor. One idea... Was to create a fake and put it back with Dumbledore. In the future, there would be people who'll go after it. They might figure out that Grindelwald had it, and then Dumbledore."

"And then, having a wand without special powers might make them think that it has lost its power?"

"Yes, that's a possibility. But I just figured it would act as a sort of warning to whoever does hold or protect the Wand at that time, given of course that it hasn't been destroyed."

McGonagall nodded, before asking, "what exactly happened yesterday? Why did Voldemort think that you were dead?"

"He cast the killing curse on me, but as Dumbledore figured out, I had a piece of his soul in my scar. So the killing curse didn't exactly kill me, it just killed off the part of him that was stuck in my scar. I acted as if I was dead until Neville killed the snake. Then, I got Voldemort."

"Killing curse?"

Harry nodded, resisting the urge to look away from McGonagall's eyes. "I didn't know the Death Eaters would collapse from it, but I'm glad they did. And I'm glad that I killed him instead of stupefying him or anything."

McGonagall nodded.

"Then, I escaped, a little bit far away, where I was sure I wouldn't accidentally get in anyone's way. I'm sorry I didn't reveal myself earlier. That was incredibly stupid of me, I know. I just planned to escape for a few minutes, which extended into hours."

"You don't need to apologize. Mr. Potter, Harry, I am incredibly proud of you," McGonagall told him, "and so is everyone else in this school."

Harry nodded, suddenly misty-eyed. "Thank you Professor," he said quietly.

"You will be coming back to Hogwarts in September, I presume?"

"Yes, Professor."

"Miss Granger and Mister Weasley as well?"

"Hermione, yes. But I'm not sure about Ron."

"Right," McGonagall said with a nod, "well I suppose this is earlier than I usually ask the prospective Head Boy and Girl, but may I assume that you would be willing to undertake the responsibility of Head Boy for the next year?"

"Uhhh... But I wasn't a prefect."

"Which I firmly believe you should have been, and I'm deeply sorry that I let Albus convince me otherwise at the time. Besides, it is not unprecedented. Your father, for one, became the best choice for the position during the later parts of his sixth year at Hogwarts, despite not having being a prefect. So, if you're willing..."

Harry nodded and said, "yes, thank you Professor, it will be my privilege."

"And I assume you would let Miss Granger know about her responsibilities as well."

Harry nodded, "of course. Yes, Professor."

"I will be sending you two your badges along with your invitation letters in a few weeks of course. But I hope I shall see the two of you at the memorial as well. You should receive an owl about it in a day or two."

"Yes, Professor."

"Anything else?" McGonagall asked finally.

"Is there anything I can help out with?"

"Perhaps if you talk to Madam Pomfrey. Having moved most of the injured to St. Mungo's, she has taken the responsibility of making sure everyone working on any of the repairs does so in a safe and secure way," McGonagall explained with a smile.

"Ah! Well, I'll go see her then. Thank you," Harry said, getting up.

"I will contact Kingsley and let him know that you require the wand. If possible, I would refrain from letting him the details about why -"

"That's okay."

"- if needed, I will divulge them to him. I'll let you know the results of our discussions by tomorrow morning. Also, you will very likely be called into the Ministry soon, for more details about... Voldemort. I highly recommend that you take someone or at least talk to someone knowledgeable about the law, just so you don't reveal anything that you don't need to but would be better kept secret."

Harry hadn't been expecting that, but said, "yes, thank you Professor. I will. Have a good day."

"Good day Mr. Potter."


	6. Who Needs a Hug?

6\. Who needs a hug?

* * *

Tonks reached Harry a couple minutes after he had sent his Patronus.

"Did you get it?"

Harry shook his head, "tomorrow probably. McGonagall wants to confirm with Kingsley. I thought you'd be busy."

"I did too."

"I was expecting some more people," Harry admitted, only having met a few people on the way to the Headmistress' office. "Did you go see Pomfrey?"

"Yeah, apparently the house elves have got everything in control here, most people are... elsewhere."

"Yeah, I didn't think about it until now but Hogwarts wasn't the only place that needed repairs. People must be spread all over the place. The Ministry, Diagon Alley? What do you think? I probably won't be a big help but -"

"Harry. Parties."

"What? Oh!"

"Most people aren't spread all over the place fixing stuff. They would've been out partying last night, and probably all day today as well."

"Ah of course! Sorry, I didn't think about that. Wait, did you want to go to any? I didn't keep you, did I?"

"Nah, not in the mood."

"You sure? Are your friends...?"

"A few invited me. But with the Weasleys the way they are, no, it didn't feel right."

Harry nodded in understanding, before asking, "where are we headed then?"

"I have no idea. I was just sitting around, waiting for you. You wanna go see Pomfrey?"

"Hm? Uh, sure?"

"She'll be glad to see you."

"Alright, oh can we check on the room of requirement as well?"

"Sure, what for?"

"I wanna see if it still works. There's a chance it might have been destroyed."

"Alright. Let's head there now."

Harry walked in front of where the door should have been for a couple minutes, trying out different thoughts before giving up.

"Shit!"

"It sounded like a cool place."

"It was. Damn it. I was really hoping it would only lose the hidden things room."

"Wait... Would fiendfyre die out after a day?"

"What?"

"The room doesn't show up if there's someone else inside unless you want the same room as the person inside. But... When we left the last time, there was a dead person inside, and the room was filled with fiendfyre. So, maybe the room's magic doesn't want to open up because of Crabbe's body being hidden inside. Should I try the hidden things room? What do you think?"

"I mean... It's not as if whoever was inside's body would've survived in any manner," Tonks said with a grimace, "so, the room should've opened up anyway?"

"Yeah, you're right. But just in case, can you control fiendfyre?"

"Dude, no!"

"Would it have died out?"

"I have no bloody clue."

"Maybe I should just leave it then. But no, the door's usually closed, so maybe..." Harry said quietly, choosing to try to open the hidden things room. "Damn it!"

"Aw, it's okay."

"That dumb -" Harry stopped himself, feeling bad about cursing someone who had recently died.

Tonks waited a few seconds before deciding that Harry had stared at the wall enough and went and put an arm over his shoulder and started walking. "Wanna go see if the library's ok?"

"Huh? Yeah, sure," Harry said broodily.

"You're starting your NEWT year soon. Trust me, you're gonna need the library."

"Oh... Shit!" Harry said, suddenly realizing how often he would probably run into Hermione during the next year.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You don't like the library?" Tonks asked, bringing her arm back to her side.

"No, it's something else."

"What? Oh... Her? Is she in the -"

"Yeah. She's gonna be there all the time. And I mean, that's not all - the common room, during meals, the corridors, the classes. She's gonna be everywhere."

"And you just realized that?" Tonks asked incredulously.

"And I'm the Head Boy," Harry continued, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

"Really?"

"Does the head boy have to talk to the head girl much?"

Tonks couldn't stop a laugh from escaping before she stopped, "sorry, yeah, yeah they definitely do."

"Aw man... Maybe I should tell McGonagall no."

"No!" Tonks said firmly, grabbing his arm to stop him to get her point across. "Absolutely not."

"Tonks, I'm serio-"

"Harry! Listen to me. It's going to be awkward, it's going to be weird. It's gonna hurt your feelings a little bit. But you can't avoid her."

"I can't act like nothing's wrong," Harry countered.

"I'm not saying you'll be the same best friends as ever. But you'll have to be able to talk to each other."

"Yeah," Harry admitted morosely. "I know, at least a little bit."

"Yeah," Tonks said in relief, glad that Harry hadn't gone to the extreme lengths as she had expected him to go. "First of all, your education, especially for next year, is very important, even if you're gonna be a quidditch player. So no hiding away from the library if Hermione's in there."

"Second," Tonks continued, starting to walk again, "you've got a few months before you start Hogwarts. The Harry who comes back to Hogwarts is going to be very different from the Harry on my side right now. Okay?"

Harry nodded, still looking down, even as he walked.

"So, today Harry, don't do any brash, stupid shit that's gonna screw over future Harry, okay?"

"I wasn't going to," Harry defended himself, "I was just thinking."

"Good. _Phew_ , scared me for a minute there."

"Does head boy really matter that much?"

"Nah," Tonks said airily, "no ones gives a shit."

"Then why are you getting all worked up?" Harry asked emphatically.

"Eh, one minute you don't wanna be head boy," Tonks answered in a quiet voice, "the next minute you don't wanna come to Hogwarts."

"Woah... Big _big_ leap there, Tonks," Harry said.

Tonks considered it for a couple seconds before admitting, "ok... maaaybe a little big," before saying in a serious tone, "but I just don't want you avoiding actual good things in life just to avoid a girl."

"Yeah, you're right."

" _Wise Tonks strikes again_!" Tonks announced, making Harry smile.

* * *

"Hello Madam Pomfrey," Harry said upon entering the infirmary and seeing her, bursting into a wide grin upon seeing her frown.

"Oh what did you do to yourself now, Mr. Potter?"

"Nothing at all. Just wanted to come say hello."

Pomfrey looked at him suspiciously for a few seconds before a smile broke out on her face. "Is that so?"

"Yes, honestly," Harry said, unable to stop himself from letting out a little laugh. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm laughing."

"Perhaps you do need a check-up then?" Pomfrey said humorously, before sending Tonks a grin who was standing behind Harry.

"No patients?" Harry asked.

"Only since a couple hours ago. There were some, but all moved to St Mungo's for now. Minerva, Pomona, Filius. and I were planning to spend a few hours today evening in Diagon Alley, in fact. It's only a couple days before this place is filled with people again. Would you two like to come along?"

"Oh! Well, I don't know if that would be the best idea," Tonks said for both of them, "with the Weasleys... Harry will probably end up in the Prophet and just the idea of celebration, you know."

Pomfrey nodded sagely, "of course, of course. Well come sit down, if you have the time. How is your mother feeling?"

"She's good. Really happy that it's over."

"Of course, of course."

"What about you, dear?" Pomfrey asked, looking at Tonks.

"Oh, I'm... Good. Yeah," said Tonks, giving Harry a smile.

"Will you be going back to work at the Ministry?"

"Yes, of course. Why?"

"Oh. Nothing. I think you were one of the people Minerva was going to ask about the Defence Against the Dark Arts position."

"Oh no no no! I can't teach kids."

"Perhaps. But maybe you'll be great."

"Oh trust me, Poppy. I can just imagine myself losing it and cursing a mouthy eleven year old all the way to you. You really don't want me here."

"I'm gonna guess you'll be amazing -"

"Oh no -" Tonks started to retort.

"- compared to most of the teachers I've had," Harry interrupted.

Tonks just shrugged and shook her head.

"So what are your plans for today?" Madam Pomfrey asked, looking at Harry.

Harry shrugged and looked at Tonks who answered, "I was expecting us to spend the day here, to be honest, so now... I don't know. You wanna go home?" she asked Harry.

"Anywhere's ok."

"Burrow?"

"Uh... Well, I suppose, yeah."

Tonks gave him a smile.

"We could go meet my mum, how about that? You wanna come, Poppy?"

"Oh you two go ahead, I've got some things to take care of here before the evening."

"Ok," said Tonks, getting up.

"It was nice to see you," Harry said to Madam Pomfrey.

"You as well, dear. You take care of yourself now, ok?"

Harry nodded with a grin.

* * *

Tonks sighed deeply when they exited the Hogwarts entrance hall.

"What do you actually want to do today?" She asked Harry.

"We can go see your mum, why not?"

"Oh come on, I don't wanna subject you to that."

Harry chuckled, "why? Is she... overbearing or somoething?"

"Dude, she named me Nymphadora. What do you think she's like?"

"She seemed nice when I met her."

"When did you meet her? Ohhh right... That day!"

"Yeah, your parents helped me and Hagrid a lot."

"Yeah," said Tonks, shaking her head, "Ok, I suppose she's not that bad."

"Sorry about your name, by the way," Harry said, making Tonks laugh, "I mean - sorry that you got teased over it?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it. It's pretty much just a joke now. I'm actually not as bothered by it as I act. I mean, I still hate it, but, eh it's whatever now. You don't actually wanna call me by my name, do you?"

"No, I'm okay calling you Tonks, or whatever else you like."

"A lot of people try to like, call me derivatives of Nymphadora."

"Like Dora?"

Tonks laughed, "yeah! It's not just me, right? That name does not suit me at all. Come on."

"Anyone call you Nym?"

"Yeah, sometimes, and I actually don't hate it. I do hate Nymmie though."

"How about Fedora?"

"Oh shut up."

The two shared a hearty laugh before Harry said, "yeah I like Nym."

"Yeah, just don't add the next two letters."

"Nymph? Oh... Damn, yeah, that is a bad name."

"Especially for a metamorphmagus, but I suppose she couldn't have foreseen that."

"What does your mum call you?"

"My first name, usually. But with her, I'll probably be weirded out if she did call me anything else."

Harry nodded.

"What about you? You ever had any fun nicknames?"

Harry shook his head, "not at Hogwarts. I mean, except some Slytherin idiots occasionally calling me potty or something silly like that."

"Oh ok."

"At the Dursleys, it was just 'boy' or 'freak'. Nothing related to my name."

"Jeez!" Tonks said with a shake of her head. "Fuck those people. Fucking - I wish I had gotten to curse those fucking bastards. Pieces of shit."

"It's okay, Tonks."

"NO! No, it isn't. Dumbledore was responsible for it, but after Voldemort came back, we were all complicit. We saw how you were treated, and we left you there. What the fuck was wrong with all of us?"

"It was for my safety."

"I don't - How? We could've had you under a fidelius, couldn't we? Like at the HQ? What good did staying there do for you?" Tonks almost shouted out in frustration.

"It was something related to my mum's sacrifice. Like, I was protected, even outside of that house, as long as I called it home. I don't know. I mean, most of it was taken away when Voldemort used my blood to come back. But, I don't know. It's what Dumbledore wanted, so..."

"Do you know about the book?" Tonks asked after a few seconds.

"Yeah, we ran into Bagshot. Or... Nagini somehow acting as the body of Bagshot, ugh," Harry said with a shudder."

"What?" Tonks asked with a horrified face.

"Yeah, that's how my wand broke. Voldemort left her at Godric's Hollow. Expected me to go there. I was attacked, Hermione saved me. I was super hurt, but... Anyway, she accidentally broke my wand."

"I'm gonna be honest. I kind of don't believe like, half of the stories you tell me," Tonks said with a kind smile.

Harry laughed. "It's true. But I can see where you're coming from. Maybe I could get a pensieve somehow."

"Nah, I like hearing them from you. With the pensieve, I would HAVE to believe what I see. This way, you know, I can just pretend that you've got a fancy imagination," Tonks said with a wide grin.

Harry laughed. "I've never actually told anyone most of my stories, you know? Only you know... Those two, and most of the times, they were there."

Tonks sighed deeply before giving him a smile. "Dude, with you, it's like you make me wanna give you a hug every 30 seconds."

"We've been together for hours today, and you haven't," Harry said.

"I've got good self-control," Tonks explained with a shrug.

"I probably wouldn't mind."

"Alright, next time, I'll just go for it."

"Ok. You know, in my fourth year, when my name came out of the Goblet of Fire, it was like the entire school hated me. I felt so alone. Even Ron didn't believe me."

Tonks stopped them both in their tracks, before saying in a desperate tone of voice, "oh you poor baby! Come here, it's okay."

Harry laughed but welcomed her hug anyway. Tonks held the hug for a few seconds before saying sincerely, "I really am sorry. You've had to go through a lot."

"It's okay. Thanks Tonks," Harry said, taking a deep breath once they had let go of each other.

"Any time."


	7. White-Streaked

7\. White-Streaked

* * *

"Hiya!" Tonks greeted her mum, walking into her living room.

"Oh hello love, I didn't know you were coming today."

"Eh, we just didn't have anything to do," said Tonks, pointing behind herself, from where Harry came waved with a smile and said, "Hello Mrs. Tonks, It's nice to see you again."

"Oh!" Andromeda said, getting up. "Hello! Harry Potter! Uh, please, come in, sit."

"Harry here's my new roommate."

"Oh? Is he?"

"Just for a few weeks before Hogwarts starts," said Harry, feeling an odd need to defend himself.

"Ah, of course."

"We were in Hogwarts, Harry had something to do. And I figured I'd go as well, see if I could help out in any way, but everyone's still out partying for today," Tonks said with a chuckle.

"And you're here?" Her mother asked with a smirk.

"I thought I'll ask if you wanna tag along first."

"Did you?" Andromeda asked with a laugh.

"Nah, I just don't feel like it. You know - We did go see Poppy at Hogwarts. She and some the other professors were planning an evening out."

"Oh, that sounds nice."

"You wanna go meet up with them?"

"No, that's ok, dear. I'd much rather enjoy myself at home. And if you're here, all the better. And I can get to know Harry a little better," Andromeda said with a smile.

"Oh, me too. I didn't really interview him properly for the roommate position."

"Uh ok," said Harry.

"So tell me, Mr. Potter, this taking down Dark Lords thing, is it a well-paying job or is it just a fun hobby?" Tonks asked in a spiffy voice.

"Well," Harry chuckled, "so far, I have been doing it just for the fun of it, but very soon, I hope to have a lucrative monetization system implemented."

"Ah! Interesting, interesting."

"Do you like to watch television, Harry?" Andromeda asked, without her daughter's joking tone.

"I haven't spent much time watching any particular shows, ma'am, but I suppose yes."

"Nymphadora has been pestering me to get one ever since she moved into her own place."

"I mean, you've already got a fridge and everything. Why not?"

"I already have a good radio."

"It's not the same thing, mum..."

"I know, I know, but I just don't see how big the difference would be. Besides, it would be much more distracting."

"Just get one. And if you don't like it, you can give it to me. I'll put one in my bedroom."

"That doesn't sound very healthy."

"Mum!" Tonks sighed. "Anyway, Harry, you want some coke or anything?"

"Oh, I don't have that. There is some juice if you'd like."

"I can just go get it from the shop. Harry?"

"No, I'm okay, thanks."

"You want some orange juice?" Tonks asked.

"Uh, sure."

"Mum?"

"I'll take some. Thanks, love."

"'Course," said Tonks, going back to pour herself a glass.

"Harry here's apparently a good chef."

"Really?"

"I cooked a little bit at the Dursleys'."

"Ah, right. I myself didn't learn how to cook until after Hogwarts. I suppose it is still the same with most students at Hogwarts, isn't it?"

"Yes, I suppose."

"With parents or house elves at home, there isn't really a need for it until you try living on your own. Nymphadora was the same. Although I reckon she still hasn't really got the grasp of it."

"Ha-ha," Tonks mockingly laughed.

"Aunt Petunia often tried cooking things that she saw on the television, in fact. There are a lot of shows about food and cooking," Harry explained.

"Oh wow, really?" Andromeda asked, turning towards her daughter.

"Yeah, of course. Some focus on restaurants, but mostly, they're just about teaching you to cook. There's even some which are competitions on who can cook the better food."

"That sounds interesting."

"You can come over to watch some if you don't wanna buy a tele of your own. Assuming Harry won't mind your company."

"Of course not," Harry quickly said.

"I suppose I'll see if it's a good way to learn. When are they on?"

"Oh something or other's on all the time."

"I've asked her many times to try to make friends with some of the muggles nearby."

"Well, you know..."

"Oh did you end up finishing the book on Dumbledore?" Nymphadora asked her mother.

"I did. Do you two have any idea? About whether it's true?"

"Mostly yes, unfortunately," said Harry after a brief surprised glance at Tonks, "which parts were you wondering about specifically?"

"Oh you know, the whole Grindelwald thing. Were they really friends?"

Harry nodded. "They were, but only when they were really young. Dumbledore wasn't really Dumbledore at that point, you know, the way we think of him."

"Yes, I suppose that's true. Even Merlin was a child once. You knew him quite well, didn't you?"

"Not that well. But much better than most people, I suppose," said Harry.

"Did you meet him before Hogwarts? There were some rumors -"

"Oh, no. I didn't even know about magic until Hogwarts."

"Ah right. I did hear that once. Sorry."

"That's alright. How was your opinion of Dumbledore when you grew up?"

"Oh, mixed, kind of. My parents respected his power, and his following as well, I suppose, but they were thoroughly opposed to his political stands, you know. He also wasn't as... Grandfatherly as he was when you two grew up. He was a little more outspoken back then, though a little less eccentric at the same time. They badmouthed him a lot in front of me and my sisters. I suppose because they guessed rightly that once we went to Hogwarts, most people around us would have a very high opinion of him."

"Did he teach you transfiguration?"

"No, he had been headmaster for a few years years when I went to Hogwarts."

"Oh, yes, that would have been a couple decades after Tom Riddle."

Both Tonks women looked at him with a slightly confused look.

"Dumbledore was the transfiguration professor when Voldemort went to Hogwarts. A few years later, he went to get a teaching position at Hogwarts but Dumbledore was the headmaster then and he refused."

"Oh! Tom Riddle is Voldemort's name?" Andromeda asked.

Harry nodded. "I wonder why it isn't public information. I mean, sure, while he was powerful, he could try to keep the story from going public, but otherwise... Oh well. His father was actually a muggle."

"What?"

"Yeah, his mother was a descendant of Slytherin. She dosed Tom Riddle, senior, with a love potion, and then once she stopped, he left her. But then, she had Voldemort. Died soon after birth, and gave him to an orphanage."

"Woah!"

"I wonder if it'll eventually be taught in history classes," said Harry.

"Not if Binns keeps teaching," said Tonks.

"Oh Merlin, yes!" Andromeda agreed enthusiastically. "That... Ghost... Such a failure of Hogwarts. I'm going to send Minerva a letter. They need to change that subject, hopefully Binns, but if not him, at least the syllabus."

"Let's hope McGonagall is a bit more receptive to other people's opinions than Dumbledore."

"I hope so too. I think most people just had too high an opinion of him, and just stopped themselves from disagreeing," said Harry.

"You know, she was actually very nice when I started Hogwarts. She had only been at Hogwarts for a year or two then," Andromeda said.

"Really?"

"Oh yes. Well, she could be strict if you set her off, but generally she was very approachable, constantly smiling."

"I can't even imagine that," Harry said.

"She was super strict with me, for reasons you can imagine," Tonks told Harry with a grin.

"Were you a little troublemaker?"

"Little?" Andromeda exclaimed, "She was a monster. I received so many letters about her."

"You must be very proud," Harry said, making Andromeda laugh.

"No, it wasn't that bad, really. Especially in comparison to the stories about Sirius and your dad, actually."

"The Marauders! I heard some - no, a LOT of stories from Sirius and Remus."

"Do you miss him?" Andromeda suddenly asked with a lot of seriousness.

"Sirius?" Harry asked, with a glance towards Tonks, who looked a bit embarrassed.

"Sorry I -"

"No, that's okay. I do miss him. He was your cousin, right?"

"Yes, but I didn't know him as well as I wished. I just know that he was very naughty," Andromeda said with a nostalgic smile.

"What about Regulus? Did you know him?"

Andromeda looked at him with a bit of surprise. "Not really, no. His parents didn't want him to associate with me. Especially not after he started Hogwarts."

"I don't know if you know this, but... He turned against Voldemort."

"Did he?" Andromeda asked while Tonks asked at the same time, "Really?"

"Yeah, that's how we got Kreacher to help us," Harry explained to Tonks. "He gave Kreacher one final task, to destroy something that belonged to Voldemort before he died, and Kreacher wasn't able to. But we did. Well, we took a long time in doing it, Kreacher started helping us as soon as he realised we wanted to help him. It was all Hermione."

"Oh wow. Aunt Walburga must be turning in her grave so hard."

After a few silent moments, Tonks asked, "well Mum, do you wanna go shopping? We need to get Harry some new clothes and all."

"Oh, lovely!"

* * *

"I'm really sorry! About her." Tonks said as soon as they apparated back in her apartment.

"What? No!"

"She can be too much."

"No, it's ok. I liked talking to her."

Tonks sighed. "And thanks for... Being so nice during the shopping. Sorry it took so long."

Harry grinned. "Ok, that you can be sorry about."

Tonks laughed and said, "your frustrated face is really amusing, gotta say."

"I still have no idea what was wrong with most of those shirts."

"Trust me. They sucked."

"Alright, I trust you. And I promise, I'll pay you back as soon as I can."

"Oh fucking shut up with that already! It's a gift from me! For saving the world."

"Now you shut the fuck up," Harry muttered quietly with an eye roll, making Tonks chuckle.

"Well, my lovely hero," said Tonks with a lopsided smile, "I'll go free up some space for your things. Sure you don't wanna get a new cupboard or anything?"

"No, I don't have that much stuff. Besides, I'm gonna need a trunk anyway, I could just put my things in there temporarily."

"Good idea, alright, for now, I'll just make some space in my cupboard. Ok?"

Tonks took Harry's new clothes to her bedroom while Harry took the rest of the shopping to the kitchen and started looking for the right places to put things.

He heard a deep sigh from the living room where Tonks had laid down on the sofa. "Going to sleep?"

"No," he heard her tired voice say.

"Do you want the remote?" He asked her upon going to the living room a couple minutes later.

"Nah!"

"So what did we decide about the beds?" Harry asked.

"You can sleep wherever you want."

"Where do you want to sleep?"

"I'm okay wherever," said Tonks with a yawn.

"Me too," said Harry, following with a yawn of his own.

"So?"

"I'd feel weird sleeping on your bed, knowing you're out here."

"This is normal for me."

"Yeah, but still..."

"Why don't we both sleep on the sofa?"

"Uh..." Harry hesitated, unsure of the Tonks' meaning.

"I can transfigure that one to be longer. It'll definitely hold until tomorrow."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, positive. And here," she said, getting up, "I'll take that one."

"No, it's ok. Well alright."

"Could you get me the duvet from my bed though?" Tonks asked, having laid down in the newly transfigured sofa already.

"Yeah, of course."

"And a pillow. And there's an extra one in the top shelf of the cupboard by the door."

"Got it!"

"Do you usually watch TV before you sleep?" Harry asked a couple minutes later, after he was settled in.

"Yeah."

"Why not today?"

"We can if you want to," said Tonks.

"No, I don't. But I figured you'd -"

"Nah, I'm good today."

"Ok," Harry responded a bit unsurely.

Tonks explained after a few seconds of silence, "I think I just turn on the TV to stop focusing on my own thoughts. They can sort of... Spiral out of my control."

"What do you mean?"

"Like... Thoughts about how much I suck. How I make people I like hate me. How people died because of me."

"Oh!"

"Like how I make things super-awkward. For no reason at all."

"No, sorry, that's not - I don't know what to say," Harry said quietly.

"It's fine. I don't know why I said it."

"You were being honest? Right?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

"Sorry," Harry said again, "but... You don't suck."

"I know but -"

"You're quite amazing, actually."

"It's just silly thoughts, I know," Tonks reaffirmed.

"And everyone adores you. Your mum, Mrs. and Mr. Weasley, Ginny, Ron, Hermione. A lot of other people I don't even know, probably."

"Thanks Harry, but these don't start as conscious rational thoughts, that's what I mean by out of control."

"Ok," Harry said very quietly.

After a few silent seconds, Tonks said, "see, this is what I mean by making things super-awkward. I didn't need to say what I did, but -"

"Did you mean Sirius?"

"... Partially, but not just him. Recently, it's mostly been about my dad."

"How?" Harry asked in surprise.

"He shouldn't have needed to go on the run. I could've hidden him much better, if only I'd known about it beforehand, which I would have if I'd paid more attention at what was going on at the Ministry."

There were a few seconds of silence before Harry said, "that... is quite silly."

"Is it?"

Harry got out from under his covers, and sat on the ground near her head.

"I was the reason Voldemort came back. Every single person he hurt was my fault."

"That's not the same, Harry."

"Isn't it?" Harry whispered.

"I'm not saying Dad died because of me, I'm saying I could've saved him."

"And I could've been a super baby and actually defeated Voldemort when I was a baby and saved my parents."

"I get your point," Tonks conceded.

"No, I don't think you do," said Harry, turning to face her. "You're amazing. I could've died. I could've run off. I made a choice to come back. And so far, you're pretty much the only reason that I'm glad I made that decision."

"Fuck!" Tonks said with a deep sigh, bringing up her right hand to stroke Harry's cheek. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay," said Harry.

"I forgot you were such a sweetie pie," whispered Tonks.

"Only with you, I think," Harry whispered back with a smile.

"Hey... Can you shift the sofa?"

"Uh, like this way?"

"Yeah."

"Sure," said Harry, getting up and rotating the sofa so that when he lied down, he could see Tonks to the side.

"Who was your favourite superhero when you grow up?" Tonks asked suddenly.

"Superhero? I don't know. I guess, Spiderman?"

"Really? Spiderman? That's cool."

"How do you even know about superheroes?" Harry asked.

"My dad loved comics. Had loads of them."

"Who was yours?"

"Do you know X-men?" Tonks asked.

"I think so."

"Well, they're a group of mutants. Mutant is like, slightly different humans, each of them has a power of their own. But anyway, one of them is Mystique. She can shape shift into other people. But she's not my favourite. I mean, come on, who can't," Tonks said with a giggle, "there's this one girl, Rogue. She's so fucking complicated. Her power is that she absorbs others' powers. But not like, ooh you can fly, I like it, I'm gonna take it. But like, if I touch you, I'm gonna get your powers, and I'm gonna get a piece of you in my mind, so every person whose powers she absorbs, it's like, they affect her mindset. On top of that, she isn't even a hero when she's introduced. She's one of the villains. In fact, she actually turns one of the superheros into a normal person by absorbing all her powers, and her personality. Super fucked up, but then later, the other personality takes over, and she's forced to become a goody-two-shoes."

Harry grinned widely at her, looking happier than she'd ever seen him, making her smile back.

"Sorry, Rogue. Rogue's my favourite superhero, I think. There's also Deadpool, but nah, he's too much sometimes."

"Do you have any comics here?"

"No. I haven't read any in quite a while."

"Sounds like you were really into them."

"I was too into them," Tonks said with a laugh. "I was kinda obsessed. This used to be my normal hairstyle for a long time," she said, turning her hair to a brown colour, with a white streak.

"Damn. I like it."

"Me too."

After a few seconds, Tonks said, "Alright, I think I'm falling asleep. Good night, you sweet patootie."

"What?" Harry asked with a confused laugh.

Tonks just smiled back in response and closed her eyes, before turning to face the other way.

"Good night," she heard Harry whisper.


	8. Quiet

8\. Quiet

* * *

Harry glanced towards Tonks when he heard her turn towards him. Her eyes were closed. 'She looks so peaceful,' Harry thought, before letting out a sigh and getting up.

He glanced back at Tonks, making sure he hadn't woken her up, and checked his pockets for the keys before slowly walking back to Tonks' bedroom to pick them up, grabbing his invisibility cloak on the way as well.

He took one last look at Tonks before he quietly opened the door and walked out.

Harry's face was blasted by cold air when he got out of the building. Harry stood still for a few seconds, just looking around at the surprising amount of people.

"Excuse me, sorry," he said to a couple girls who were walking past him, "what day is it?"

"Oh uh," one said, sharing an amused look with her partner, "Tuesday, technically. It's after midnight."

"Right, thanks, sorry to bother you," he said and walked in the opposite direction as them.

"What the fuck, right?" "Yeah, he didn't even seem that drunk."

Harry couldn't stop himself from chuckling at their words, amused by his own question.

Soon, he came across the alleyway that Tonks had shown him. He looked carefully, but didn't see anyone. He put on his cloak and disapparated.

With a loud crack, he appeared in Godric's Hollow, near the cemetery. Harry looked around carefully before taking off his cloak. He slowly walked towards his destination, looking up to see stars which he suddenly realised he wasn't seeing a minute ago. He started walking, remembering exactly where to go.

"Hello," he whispered into the air when he was standing next to his mother's grave. He stood there for a couple minutes, listening to his own breathing in the nearly complete silence. He conjured a blanket and cast a warming charm on it before lying down on it with a loud exhale.

He looked up at the stars. "That's where I thought you were, for a long time. ... I don't know if you can hear this."

"I'm sorry I came back. I don't know if it was the right thing to do."

"I am assuming that it was real," he said after a few seconds, "but it might have just been a hallucination, right?"

He stared at his mother's name for a few seconds, imagining her saying "it could be."

For a few minutes, he thought about nothing at all, simply staring at the clear sky above him, occasionally remembering some details from his Astronomy classes.

"Were you good at Astronomy? I don't really know. I'll ask McGonagall if she knows. She was your head of house, right?"

He caught himself looking forward to a response that wouldn't arrive once again. He exhaled loudly and sat up. He looked around, not find another human in his sight.

He yawned.

"Hmmm... Maybe I shouldn't fall asleep here," Harry said quietly as he got up.

He stood and leaned slightly against the headstone on the grave beside his mother's.

He vanished the blanket before adjusting his cloak slightly, feeling a chill run up his spine.

"Mum..." He started to say, distinctly remembering her face when she had told him how proud of him she was. 'Can I please have a hug?'

He stood up and faced away from his parents' graves, as if embarrassed of showing them the tears flowing down his face. After a few minutes, he felt calm enough to face them again.

"Sorry," he said quietly. "I just really wish you were here. You too, Dad," he said with a chuckle, "mum just looked like she'd give nice hugs."

He smiled to himself, imagining his father faking being hurt and his mother smiling. He felt lighter. He looked around some more.

"Would they have put me here? There's not much space around you guys." He said as he looked around for a few seconds. "Oh never mind, there's some."

"Do you reckon they'd put *Harry Potter, the Boy who Lived.*? Wouldn't that be ironic?" Harry said with a laugh. "Or maybe something else. Maybe they would have let Hermione choose. That would probably be the best idea, right?"

"What the hell would she say?" He said after a few seconds of thought. "I seriously have no idea what she thinks of me now."

He stood there silently for a couple minutes before admitting, "I wish I hadn't told her."

"I mean, if I could go back in time, I wouldn't. I mean... Fuck!" He said, closing his eyes imagining Hermione thinking about him perving on her when they were alone in the tent. "I hope she doesn't feel... Violated. Ugh!"

"What the fuck did I do?" Harry muttered with a groan, before apologizing to his parents' graves. "Sorry."

"I think I'm gonna go," he said after a couple minutes. He put his invisibility cloak back on before disapparating. He stayed still for a few seconds before walking out to the main street, which looked a bit emptier than before. He kept the cloak on the entire way until he reached the door to Tonks' apartment. He took it off and opened the door as quietly as he could.

Tonks was still asleep, he noticed with a sigh of relief. He tiptoed back to her bedroom, and threw the invisibility cloak on the bed, and put his keys on her bedside table.

He walked to the sofa and laid down on his side. He looked at Tonks' shoulder, her hair looking wild. He closed his eyes and imagined Hermione in Tonks' place. He imagined putting his arms around her stomach and pulling her in, imagined laying his head in her hair and breathing her in.

He opened his eyes, angry at himself. He looked at Tonks, who was still asleep. He had to stop doing it, he told himself. He turned and closed his eyes again, hiding his face underneath his pillow.

His mind went straight back to the image of being with Hermione, only this time, she was facing him. She smiled at him, and put her hand on top of his heart. For a few seconds, Harry could feel his own heartbeat, as if through his imagination before his Hermione turned her head to the side in wonder and her hand suddenly felt cold like a ghost; it plunged into his skin and right to his heart.

He opened his eyes with an exhaled "fucking shit!" and got back up. He walked into Tonks' bedroom and closed the door, making more noise than he was hoping to. He stood there for a while, before opening the door again. He brought out his wand and silently cast lumos, hoping the light wouldn't wake Tonks up. He walked over to a small shelf where Tonks seemed to have kept some books.

He picked one about Quidditch and walked back into Tonks' room, also picking his pillow and blanket along the way, careful not to touch Tonks' sleeping body with the blanket.

For a few minutes, he lay in bed, using his wand's light to read. Then he fell asleep.

* * *

"Shit!" Tonks shot up as soon as she woke up, seeing the empty couch in front of her.

She quickly put on a pair of socks from last night, which were lying on top of her shoes. She stopped suddenly in the middle of putting on the second one, remembering that Harry had definitely had a blanket and a pillow. She slowly walked over the bedroom, sighing in relief and shaking her head when she saw him curled up on her bed, with a book lying by his side.

"Thank fuck," she breathed out. She stood there in the doorway, staring at his sleeping form while she got her breathing back in control.

She scoffed at herself when she realized that she felt a little bit hurt by him going to the bedroom to sleep instead of sleeping next to her. She quietly closed the door, and walked into to the bathroom. She quickly brushed her teeth and washed her face before heading to the kitchen. She turned on her water kettle and put a teabag into a mug.

After a couple minutes, she was sitting on the side of her couch, after moving the other one back to its original position. She loudly exhaled in delight after her first sip. She grabbed the TV remote and turned it on, keeping the volume down button pressed as it did. She put on the news to find it reporting about the weird occurrences all over the country. "Great, get rid of Voldemort, and forget about the Statute. Dumb fucks," she muttered to herself.

She only watched it for a couple minutes before turning it off. She went back to the bedroom to see if Harry had perhaps woken up. She stood there in the doorway again for a few minutes, her eyes unfocused. She guessed he must have had some trouble sleeping, and decided to read, and not wanting to risk waking her up, moved into the bedroom.

She wondered again if Molly or the other Weasleys would be affected by Harry being gone. 'Ginny had seemed completely okay with it. Ron would probably end up preferring it,' she thought, 'not having to worry about the third wheel, even if he didn't find out about Harry and Hermione's... fight? Whatever! Hermione will probably be the one affected the most. Poor kids. Nope,' she thought, closing her eyes, "not a kid!" she said out loud.

She felt weirdly proud of him, of the decision he had made, deciding to come live with her, despite barely knowing her. 'Although, he's probably just scared,' she thought, having heard that the two were extremely close. When Sirius had told her about them, he had been sure that those two were just like James and Lily. 'May take a while to get together, but they're meant for each other.'

Remus had of course been the sensible one, sarcastically remarking how Sirius was of course the expert on Harry Potter, having spent a mind staggering thirty minutes with the kid.

"You'll see," Sirius had remarked, looking completely sure of himself.

'Wrong this time, you old mutt,' she thought.

She took another sip of her tea, wondering what she would have done in Harry's situation. 'Yeah, go on, person without even a single friend half as close as those two,' she admonished herself.

She stood there for a few minutes, slowly finishing her cup, before deciding to walk out, ignoring the small part of her which wanted to grab a chair and just sit down in front of the sleeping boy - the sleeping Harry, she corrected her thoughts.

She went back to the kitchen and looked at everything they had brought home the previous evening. She decided to make some French toast for herself, thinking about waking Harry up with some breakfast in bed, before deciding not to.

After breakfast, she headed to the bathroom to take a shower. A few minutes later, she went back to his door to check on him. After finding him asleep, she decided to stop delaying and get on with the rest of her day.

She noticed Harry's glasses besides him on the bed. She carefully walked over to him, picked them up and put them on the bedside table.

She resisted the urge to lie down beside him and fall asleep stroking his hair. Instead, she checked her pockets and then walked out.

* * *

 **A/N:** This chapter was edited slightly.


	9. Fair?

9\. Fair?

* * *

When Harry woke up, it took him a few seconds to remember where he was. He felt around for his glasses, finding them on the bedside table. He put them on, but stayed lying in bed for a few minutes. After getting up, he slowly walked into the living room. He peeked into the kitchen to see if Tonks was there before walking into the bathroom.

He stood in front of the mirror for a couple minutes, reflecting on the previous night. It had been quite a while since he had wept openly.

He took a deep breath, remembering the feeling of lightness after letting some tears out, before picking up his toothbrush. He looked around the bathroom as he brushed his teeth. He wondered how long ago Tonks had left. Would she be at the Ministry? Would she have dropped in at the Burrow? Would she have seen Hermione?

He wondered how Hermione was feeling. A part of him wished for Hermione to be feeling horrible for doing this to him. Even that part wasn't sure what 'this' was. The rest of him was simply regretting telling her the truth.

When he finished brushing his teeth, he heard the front door open. He walked out to find Andromeda walking in.

"Oh hullo sweetheart! Did you just wake up?"

"Oh hey, Mrs. Tonks," said Harry while she walked up to him and engulfed him in a hug.

"Uhhh..." Harry said, a bit confused.

Andromeda grabbed his hands as she pulled away and asked in a voice full of care, "You ok, sweetie?"

"Yeah," said Harry, his confused look morphing into a bright smile at seeing the concern in her eyes, "thanks Mrs. Tonks."

She made a sound close to a "tut" and said "Andi!"

Harry chuckled. "Right, thanks... Andi!"

"Good... Now, had anything to break your fast yet?"

"Just brushed my teeth," said Harry, shaking his head.

"Well, good, means I get to feed you. What would you like, sweetie?"

"Oh, uh, have you eaten?"

"Yes, love," Andromeda said with a warm smile, "so no point saying whatever I'd like. Come on, hurry up."

Harry smiled at her before saying, "I'd honestly love to have anything you make for me, Andi."

"Awww. Well, eggs and bacon?"

"Yes, please."

"Great! Well, go get ready, take a bath and oh, oh, oh, could you please put the cooking thing on that thing?" Andromeda asked, pointing towards the TV.

"Yeah," Harry said with a tiny laugh, walking towards the remote.

* * *

"Nymphadora came to see me about you."

"Ah!" said Harry, "what did she say?"

"She was a little bit worried," Andromeda said with a little smile, "said that she had to force herself to get out of here to go to work. Just wanted to stay at home with you. Now I know I'm not as fun or as bubbly as -"

"No!"

"- my lovely daughter, but I hope you don't mind me coming over."

"First of all, you are fun! You might even be too much fun, actually," Harry said, making Andromeda laugh. "Secondly, I am very happy that you came over. Thirdly, thanks again for the breakfast. It was lovely."

"Aw you really are as sweet as Nymphadora says."

Harry grinned at her, before saying, "I don't know what it is. The Tonks women bring it out of me."

"I'm glad," said Andromeda with a smile. "Now if I may ask, how did you end up living here? Are you and Nymphadora much closer than I had come to believe or-"

"No, no, I'm just here until we check out Grimmauld Place and make sure it's completely safe. I'll move there as soon as I'll be able to."

"Ah, I see. Are you expecting it to be dangerous?"

"Possibly. Death Eaters knew that it was our base for some time, so…"

"Oh! Very sensible then, good."

Harry nodded, before saying, "ad's over."

"Oh good."

They watched TV silently for a few minutes until the next ad break.

"She's rather interesting, isn't she?" Andromeda remarked.

"Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen this show before, but it's really good."

"Oh what is that?" asked Andromeda, looking at an expandable broom being advertised.

"Oh, it's for cleaning. Makes it easier to reach things."

"Ah, interesting."

"There are some channels without any advertisements, I think. I can change it."

"Oh, will Nigella be on them?"

"I don't know. Probably not."

"Oh just leave this on then. It's good having some breaks in between, anyway."

"Alright," said Harry, slumping heavily into the sofa beside Andromeda.

"You can lie down properly, if you want, sweetie. Put your head here," said Andromeda, patting her lap.

"Oh, uh, that's ok," said Harry, sitting up.

"Aww! Alright."

"Sorry," said Harry quietly.

"It's ok, love," Andromeda said with a warm chuckle.

Harry felt embarrassed but stayed quiet, not wanting to admit how much Andromeda's little gesture meant to him.

They watched television together for a few minutes. When it seemed as if the show was about to end, Andromeda asked, "That didn't seem that hard to make, right? We can try that."

"Uh. Sorry I don't remember exactly what she did."

"Oh, that's fine. I think I remember it well," said Andromeda, getting up.

"I don't think we brought any chicken yesterday."

"There's a shop nearby, right?"

"There's a supermarket," said Harry, getting up. "I'll go get some."

"I'll come with you. Might see something else I should buy."

"Oh! Just remembered, I don't have any money just yet," said Harry apologetically.

"Don't worry about it at all sweetie," said Andromeda warmly. "We can pop into Gringotts to convert some."

"Oh I don't think I can go there."

"Why? Wait… That dragon business! That was real? Oh shit! I saw it mentioned in the Prophet but I thought that was just…"

"I think Kingsley is trying to make a deal with Gringotts about the three of us, Ron, Hermione and me. It's only me who has an account of my own there anyway. But I have no idea what will happen."

"Oh! Well, Gringotts might not even be open, in fact, if it really happened."

Harry nodded.

"You know, I think I have almost all of that stuff at home anyway. We could go there, but we wouldn't have the television."

"That's ok," said Harry.

"Or we could just go out somewhere just to roam about, and go to my home for lunch. I'm sorry. I really should have remembered to get some converted."

"Please don't worry about it, Mrs. Tonks."

"Alright. Well we'll try that particular recipe some other time, I suppose."

"Tonks, uh, Nymphadora wasn't planning on coming home for lunch, was she?"

"I don't think so. And you weren't planning on going to the Weasleys, were you?"

"I… Might have, I suppose."

"Ah! Well, no worries in that case," said Andromeda, getting up. "I'll stop bothering you and go home."

"No, that's not - Actually, well, I suppose I should at least drop in there," said Harry with a resigned sigh.

Andromeda simply looked at him with a quizzical look.

"I had a... fight, with Hermione. I'm not really looking forward to running into her at the Burrow."

"Ah!"

"But no," said Harry, getting up, "I really should visit them. I did kind of leave suddenly without any explanation yesterday."

"Ok," said Andromeda, "well, I hope I get to spend some more time with you in the coming weeks. Yesterday was quite lovely, I must admit."

"For me as well, Mrs. Tonks,"

"Andi!"

"For me too, Andi. And today morning! It was so nice of you to come to check on me," said Harry.

"Oh psh, it was nothing. Uh, do you want to disapparate from here?"

"Here is ok, I guess?" Harry said unsurely, "oh, I'll just go get my keys anyway."

* * *

"Harry!" Ginny welcomed him warmly, opening the kitchen door. "I didn't know if you were coming."

"Hey Ginny, oh," said Harry, accepting Ginny's hug with a little bit of surprise. "How are you?"

Ginny shrugged but gave him a little smile before asking, "you ok?"

"Yeah, better than I was expecting, I suppose - Oh good morning Mrs. Weasley," said Harry when he saw her.

"Good morning dear!" She greeted him with a smile, before asking in a concerned voice, "are you doing well?"

"Yes, I'm good, Mrs. Weasley. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes. Nymphadora's potions helped. Come, sit, I'll get you some -"

"Oh no no, I already ate a lot, Mrs. Weasley," Harry interrupted.

"Oh! Are you sure, dear? I could quickly whip up something."

"Yes, definitely Mrs. Weasley. I'm completely full."

"Ah, well, good. I was a bit worried you wouldn't eat properly."

"Please don't worry about me, Mrs. Weasley. I can take good care of myself," said Harry, not wanting to tell her about Andromeda coming to make him breakfast. "Is anyone else up?"

"Yeah, Dad, Charlie and Bill came down a while ago," Ginny answered. "They went to the Ministry. And Percy actually stayed at his place last night."

"Ah ok."

"Hermione woke up, but… Not in the mood to come down just yet."

"I'll just get some food ready for her," Mrs. Weasley said, "you wouldn't mind taking it up to her, would you, dear?" Molly asked Harry.

"Oh, uh -"

"I'll take it up, mum," said Ginny.

"Oh alright, dear," said Molly before saying in a hushed tone, "actually could you…?" She gestured towards the door and started walking.

Ginny followed her after giving Harry a confused glance.

They came back after about a minute. Ginny gave Harry a smirk before sitting down next to him. "Well that was fun."

"What?" asked Harry.

"So… Yesterday evening, when I told Mum that you were gone, she didn't really ask any questions. I suppose she just made a few assumptions by herself."

"And?"

"Just now," Ginny whispered, with a glance towards her mother who was occasionally looking at them both while preparing some breakfast for Hermione, "she couldn't even hold it in for a few minutes. Just had to tell me to tell you that…" Ginny paused and grinned, "you and Tonks living together, so early in your relationship, it's very improper." Ginny said, bursting into laughter.

"No, Mrs. Weasley, that's not -"

"Now I know it's not my place to say this, dear. And Nymphadora is a lovely girl, but still -"

"We're not together!" Harry interrupted. "She's not my girlfriend."

"But then, why would you leave and -"

"I just didn't want to be a burden to you, Mrs. Weasley. I'm sorry. I just thought it would be easier if I left. I'll be moving to Grimmauld Place soon anyway. I'm only living with Tonks temporarily."

"You're never a burden, dear. Please never think that."

"Thanks, Mrs. Weasley."

She looked at him for a few seconds, seemingly refraining from saying something, before focusing her attentions back on the food. "You're welcome here anytime. In fact, you can take Percy's room, if you don't want to share with Ron."

"That's no problem, Mrs. Weasley."

"Alright, dear!"

After a few seconds of silence, Harry turned to Ginny, who looked at him with a smirk.

"You could have told her about me and Tonks."

"I didn't know what to tell her. I assumed you wanted to keep the Hermione fight a secret. And I didn't wanna come up with a story."

Harry sighed. "Yes. Right. Well, thanks for not telling that to anybody. Is she ok?"

"Hermione? No? I mean, yesterday, the entire day, she was kind of a mixture of angry and sad."

Harry took a deep breath. "Should I go talk to her?"

"I have absolutely no idea," said Ginny. "When I get her breakfast, I'll tell her you're here and see her reaction."

"Does she know you know?"

"No, not yet."

Harry nodded.

"Actually, I'm not sure I know exactly what happened anyway," Ginny whispered.

"Ginny!" Mrs. Weasley called.

"Be right back."

After a couple minutes, Ginny came back and sat next to him with a sigh.

"I said to her, Good morning. Mum made you some breakfast. And Harry's here! And she just went arghhh. So… Make of that what you will."

"Right."

"So," Ginny said in a whisper, leaning towards him, "what exactly's going on? What did you guys fight about?"

"Oh, so you don't know," said Harry.

"Don't know what?"

Harry sighed loudly. "Let's go outside, I'll tell you there."

"Ok, just one second," said Ginny, walking up to her mother. "Mum, you need anything?" "Nothing right now, dear." "Alright, we're just outside. Just call if you want us." "Ok dear!"

"So…" Harry said, when they were outside. "yesterday morning, Hermione and I were talking. And I told her... that I've liked her... romantically… for years."

"Oh!"

"Yes. And technically, we didn't really have a fight. I just… Want to keep my distance."

"So she doesn't like you back?"

"Don't even ask that. Come on. She's your brother's girlfriend."

"You're more important than my brother."

"Woah, don't," said Harry in an annoyed tone, "that - that's a horrible thing to say."

Ginny sighed, "yeah, I suppose. But… What the fuck?" She suddenly burst out.

"What?"

"Hermione… Is choosing Ron over you? What the fuck is wrong with her?"

Harry stopped walking and turned to Ginny, "ok, just stop right now! Don't you dare say that."

"I'm sorry, but seriously -"

"Just shut up, Ginny. Just stop. Ok? That's not how it works. It's not a competition. She likes him and he likes her. Done. End of story. Great for them both. Doesn't matter if I like her. Especially not when I tell her now, when she has a boyfriend, after keeping it secret from her for years."

Ginny shook her head, looking angry. "I don't care what you say. I just lost a fuck ton of respect for her."

"Oh come on. Just… Just think about it for a moment. She didn't do anything wrong."

"What the fuck are you saying? She rejected YOU!"

"NO! She didn't. It's not as if I asked her out. Again, she has a boyfriend. But even then… So what if she did reject me? I can't just change her feelings. If she doesn't like me, she doesn't like me. I can't blame her for it. I just gotta get over it."

"It's not fair!" Harry heard her say in a moaning tone after a few seconds.

"Oh Ginny!" He said quietly, putting an arm over her shoulder when he saw her start to tear up. "It's ok."

"Couldn't you just have fallen for me?" Ginny asked with a chuckle, "I'd drop Dean in a second."

Harry laughed and said, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," said Ginny, taking a step towards him and putting her arms around him.

She let go after a few seconds. "By the way, know what's gonna happen now?"

"What?"

"My dear mother is going to think that you just asked me out."

Harry looked towards the Burrow and saw Molly's silhouette suddenly move out of his line of sight through the door. "Aw shit!"


	10. Upfront

10\. Upfront

* * *

"Just hear me out. It's a good plan," said Ginny.

"Go on," said Harry with a sigh.

"You pretend to be my boyfriend. Pretend, pretend!" She repeated, seeing that Harry was about to interrupt again. "I mean, all we have to do is maybe hold hands once in a while, and send each other letters that I'd pretend are secret and lovey-dovey but are actually just boring shit. I suppose, to sell the ruse, we could occasionally pretend to make out."

Harry laughed out loud before saying, "uh-huh!"

"Yeah," Ginny replied with a laugh before acting serious, "and as a result, you get a great excuse for staying with Tonks."

"Oh that's where you were going with that."

"Well, it's a great plan, right?" Ginny asked with a grin.

Harry laughed in response before saying "No comment."

"Aw fine. Have it your way. STOP STARING AT US MUM! YOU'RE MAKING HARRY UNCOMFORTABLE."

"Uhhh."

"There we go," said Ginny in a calm voice before letting out a chuckle.

"You're just…" Harry started to say.

"Yes?"

"Well, I don't want to offend you."

Ginny laughed. "You're not gonna."

"Well, the thing that first came to my mind was crazy. But in a good way."

"Oh you! Stop." Ginny said playfully.

Harry smiled back in response.

"So what's the plan for today?" Ginny asked after a few seconds.

"Waiting for a message from McGonagall. Have to go to Hogwarts."

"Ah ok. Hey will you be coming there - to study - this year?"

"Yeah," Harry responded morosely.

"Are you being sent there against your wishes?"

"No, it's just… McGonagall made me head boy."

"Damn… you really are like Ron."

"Hey!" Harry said in a hurt tone. "I'm not sad because of that. It's because I'll have to spend a lot of time with the head girl."

"Ah! Of course she is," Ginny muttered with a quick look towards her house, before saying, "but come on. You've got a few months. You two will be back to normal by then."

"I don't know, Ginny. That doesn't really seem possible."

"It's possible. Ok, maybe not back to normal. But still much better than today."

"Well yeah, I hope so."

"Anyway, gotta go back in. Mum's waving. Thanks for telling me, Harry."

"Of course."

"I just went through like 10 emotions in two minutes," Ginny said with a chuckle.

"10? Do that many even exist?"

Ginny smiled back in response before suddenly getting a serious look on her face. She quickly walked inside, smiling at George who turned to look at her at the sound of the door opening. She went up to him and hugged him from behind, kissing him on the cheek before resting her head on his shoulder.

"Good morning!" Ginny whispered.

"Morning," said George, somehow managing a smile.

"Harry's here."

"Yes, and you seem to be making the most of it," he said to Ginny, lightly bumping his head against hers.

"Well, yeah, can't let Tonks have all the fun."

"Ginny!" Molly admonished.

"Hey George," Harry said when George turned towards him.

"Hey!" George said, losing his smile for an instant before gaining it back, "you ok?"

Harry looked surprised for a second before replying, "yeah! Yeah! I'm fine."

George smiled sadly and nodded before looking towards his mother. For a couple minutes, they stayed almost perfectly still, with only Molly working away in her kitchen. Ginny let go of him after kissing the side of his head.

"So you're living with Tonks?" George asked.

Harry nodded and said, "yeah!"

"How come?"

"Oh! Well…" said Harry, who had been fruitlessly hoping that the question would not come up. He decided against the being-a-hassle reasoning and answered half honestly, "well, to be honest with you, I think being at her place… gives me a little space? Away from Ron and Hermione, and just some time to myself. That's kinda why."

"Oh!" Harry heard from George. He noticed Mrs. Weasley giving him an intrigued look.

"Yeah, it's - it's not that big a deal, I mean, Tonks offered to let me stay there for a few days and I thought why not. Ron and Hermione have probably had enough of me after a year," Harry said with a half-hearted chuckle.

"Okay," said George, not sounding convinced by his reasoning.

Harry continued, "also I didn't wanna be a hassle to Mrs. Weasley or anyone else."

"It's fine. I understand," said George with a smirk before whispering, "if Tonks offered to let me stay with her, I'd probably say yes too."

Harry laughed.

George asked his mother, "are Ron and Hermione still sleeping?"

"I think they're both awake, but -"

"I'll go get them up. Harry?"

Harry stood up and started walking behind him. George yawned loudly as he walked up the stairs. He knocked on the door to Hermione's door. Harry decided to walk past him, saying "I'll get Ron."

Harry heard Hermione say "come in" and wondered how she was looking at the moment. Harry knocked on Ron's door, feeling a bit weird about it. It was opened by Ron almost instantly.

"Hey!" Harry said in surprise.

"Did you just ask out Ginny?"

Harry sighed before chuckling and saying, "no! She was just messing with your mum."

"Oh ok," said Ron, "I wasn't sure how to feel about it if you did."

"Yeah, don't worry, I won't," said Harry, walking back down the stairs as Ron started to follow him.

Ron audibly yawned behind him. "Aw man. I feel like I've been sleeping for two days. How's Tonks? Is she here?"

"No, at work, I think."

Ron nodded. "Why'd you -?"

"She offered, I thought her place would be more peaceful for me. That's pretty much it."

"Okay," Ron said quietly. Harry stopped outside Hermione's open door for a second before continuing down the stairs. Ron heard her talking and walked inside.

"Are they up?" Ginny asked when she saw him. He nodded in response and said, "Yep! They're all in your room. I don't know when they'll be down."

"Okay," said Ginny before walking past him and up the stairs. He heard her call his name loudly after a few seconds and groaned.

He walked into Ginny and Hermione's room to find Ron, Ginny and George sitting on Ginny's bed. Hermione was in almost exactly the same position that he had left her in the previous day. She was sitting up in her bed, hugging her knees with her blanket up to her chin.

Harry sat down at the edge of her bed and said "hey". She looked at him blankly before muttering a hello. Ginny gave him a sympathetic look while the other two looked confused by their interaction.

"What were you guys talking about?" Harry asked.

"Nothing," Ginny admitted, "just felt a bit weird without you."

Ron smirked at Harry while George gave his sister a questioning glance and asked, "we did?"

At Ginny's stern look, George quickly turned to Harry and said, "oh yeah, we missed you, Harry old chap."

Harry laughed and said "I'm gonna miss hanging out with you guys."

Harry risked a look at Hermione to find her looking at him with her head tilted to the side and a sad smile on her face. He smiled back.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ron asked. "You can still come hang out any time, can't you? Hell, I'm probably gonna be busier than you."

Ginny suddenly looked a bit scared and leaned sideways to be able to keep an eye on George who noticed and mouthed "I'm ok."

Ginny grabbed his hand anyway. Harry watched them for a few seconds sadly before responding to Ron, "yeah, I suppose you're right. Are you ok?" Harry asked, turning to Hermione.

She looked at him with wide eyes before nodding. "Ye-," she cleared her throat. "Yeah. You?"

"Pretty good," said Harry with a smile. "I actually hung out with Tonks' mum yesterday."

"Oh? Really?" Hermione asked.

"I thought you were at Hogwarts," said Ron.

"Well, we went to Hogwarts, but didn't need to spend much time there. So we ended up going to see her mum, and then shopping."

"Oh ok. How was she?" Hermione asked.

"Amazing!" Harry said enthusiastically, with a wide grin. "She is so lovely and caring and fun."

Ron and Ginny looked surprised and George said, "who knew we should be more worried about Harry fancying our mum than our sister?"

Harry laughed and then said, "uh-huh! Anyway, she's kinda the opposite of Tonks in some ways. Like she always wants me to call her by her first name."

"Andromeda?" Hermione asked.

Harry nodded before saying, "yep, or Andi! Oh by the way, I met McGonagall yesterday. You're gonna be Head Girl."

Hermione slowly nodded while Ron said, "Well, of course she is."

"Just confirming," said Harry.

George congratulated Hermione and Ginny said, "and Harry's head boy."

"Awww… Not you too!" George complained. "You were one of the good ones." He quickly turned to Hermione and explained, "it's different for you."

"Sorry, I didn't really want to" Harry told him with a smile, "McGonagall guilted me into it. Must have found out Ron wasn't coming."

Harry looked at Ron to find an angry expression on his face. Ron looked away when their eyes met.

Harry sighed and stood up. He picked up Hermione's finished plate of breakfast and said, "see you guys downstairs."

Making his way into the kitchen, Harry was welcomed with a warm smile from Molly.

"Are they up?"

"Hermione's not out of bed yet."

"Poor dear!" She said, waving her wand to take the plate from Harry and put it in the sink.

"Mrs. Weasley, I had a…" said Harry, feeling guilty about being dishonest to before, "fight, kind of, with Hermione yesterday. That's the main reason I decided to stay with Tonks instead of here. I hope you don't mind."

"Ah! I see."

"Sorry I lied before, I just don't feel comfortable talking about it yet. Besides, Ron doesn't know, and I'd rather he didn't?" Harry said, suddenly remembering his reason for lying earlier.

"Oh dear!"

"He'll get jealous and feel bad, so… I should stop talking."

"No, no, I'm glad you're not just escaping me, dear."

"Of course not, Mrs. Weasley."

"Is that what you were telling Ginny about?"

Harry nodded and with a sad smile, said, "yes, she was consoling me."

"Aw!"

"Oh!" Harry stopped himself from sharing even more when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

"YOU'RE NOT EVEN GOING!" They heard Hermione shout.

"YEAH, RIGHT. OTHERWISE I'M SURE -" Ron said loudly, before his voice suddenly cut off.

"Sorry," said George a few seconds later. "Thought I'd give them some privacy."

Mrs. Weasley let out a loud sigh. "There was a lot of that yesterday as well," she told Harry.

"Are you ok with him not going to Hogwarts?"

"Well, yes. I think a few years ago, I wouldn't be, but…" She looked at George and let out another sigh.

"Besides, he's your friend, so…" said Ginny.

"So?" Harry asked, confused.

"Well… That might be an advantage for him, just to make contacts, you know?" Ginny said hesitantly.

"Oh!"

"I wonder how many other students from your year would be similar actually," said George. "I mean, like Neville, he's already done most subjects. He would just needs to redo one or two before being ready for those NEWTs, right?"

"Yeah, it's just the muggleborns who missed the entire year," said Ginny.

"What about you, Gin? Would you be studying both sixth and seventh year stuff in a few subjects?" asked George.

"I don't know. Probably. I suppose I'll know when we get our letters."

Harry sighed. "Yeah."

"Oh, Harry's gonna be Head boy, mum!"

"Ohhh!" Mrs Weasley almost squealed as she came around the kitchen counter to give Harry a hug. "Congratulations dear! I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks Mrs Weasley," said Harry.

"Oh, and Hermione's Head girl," said Ginny after a few seconds.

"Oh! Well…" said Mrs Weasley, glancing towards Hermione and Ginny's room for a second, "I'll wait till she comes down."

Ginny came to sit beside Harry and whispered, "that didn't look so bad now."

"Yeah!"

"Looked like you had a fight with Ron more than Hermione."

"I should've expected that. I don't know why I made that joke."

"He's an idiot! Don't beat yourself up over it."

Harry chuckled.

Ginny sighed and whispered, "poor Hermione! I still can't believe she chose him over you!"

"Ginny!" Harry admonished quietly.

"What are you two whispering about over here?" George asked in a whisper, coming up to the two of them.

"Those two," answered Ginny, gesturing to her room.

"Ah ok. But they've always argued a lot, haven't they?"

"Yeah but shouldn't being in a relationship make a difference?"

"What now?"

"Oh! Yeah, those two are a couple now," said Ginny.

"Ohhh!"

"I thought they kinda had been for the last year, but Harry says it actually only happened a few days ago."

Harry shrugged when George looked at him in surprise.

"Oh! So that's why you're living with Tonks," said George matter-of-factly.

Harry's face showed his surprise for a second before he chuckled and said, "I had honestly thought I'd keep it a secret." He sighed and said, "but yeah, that's pretty much it."

"Is that why Ron got so mad with you just now?"

"Oh no! Ron doesn't know. And I'd rather he didn't."

"Fucking hell!"

"Language!" admonished Mrs Weasley, surprising all three of them.

"Sorry mum! Flipping heck," said George, making her smile despite herself.

"So what's the official excuse, just so we don't slip up?" George asked Harry.

"Peace and quiet!" Harry responded confidently.

"Got it," said George.

"Not a very good one, is it?" Ginny asked.

George shook his head.

"Mum, would you be ok with me fooling Ron into thinking that Harry asked me out and then decided to live with Tonks because it would be more appropriate?"

Mrs Weasley looked at her in surprise but Harry saved her from needing to respond, "I already told him I didn't."

"Aw why'd you do that? We could've had so much fun," said George.

"See?" Ginny said to Harry.

Harry shook his head before looking up at Mrs Weasley and sharing a smile with her.

* * *

Hermione came downstairs a few minutes later to find the four of them sitting silently.

"Morning," she said to the group.

Mrs Weasley quickly came over and gave her a hug. "Good morning dear, and congratulations! Head girl!"

"Thanks Mrs Weasley."

"Come have something to eat."

"Ginny already brought me some."

"Oh yes! So Ron's the only one left. Is he coming down?"

"I'm not sure. He went up to his room a few minutes ago."

"Oh ok, I'll go see if he wants me to bring him some food," said Mrs Weasley, going past Hermione and up the stairs.

"Hello," Hermione greeted the other three in a tired voice.

Harry waved with a tiny smile. Ginny asked, "you ok?"

"Yeah, just tired."

"Sorry," said Harry, getting up. "I'll get going."

"Harry! Please don't," said Hermione.

"Why not?"

Ginny kept glancing between them while George looked down for a few seconds before Hermione responded, "because I'd be hurt if you did."

"Oh! I thought the opposite would be true."

"Maybe in a few minutes. I'll let you know."

Harry shrugged and sat down. George leaned towards Ginny and whispered something in her ear. She nodded and in response to Hermione's inquisitive look, said "he guessed what happened between you three."

"Oh!"

"And possibly, Mrs Weasley did too," said Harry.

"So you knew?" Hermione asked Ginny who nodded.

"Not before you, if that's what you mean," Harry told Hermione.

"Ah! Right. Good."

"No one knew."

Hermione nodded. Ginny suddenly nudged George, got up and started walking outside, "we'll be right back."

"Shouldn't they go outside? I mean, mum might come back and they'll have to stop talking," said George while following his sister.

Harry laughed before letting out a sigh. "I'm glad he's not…"

"Catatonic?"

"What?"

Hermione shook her head. "Nothing, but I think you just caught him in a few good moments."

Harry nodded and said, "right."

They were both silent for a few seconds before Harry asked, "should I not have told you?"

"NO! You should've told me earlier."

"But I knew you liked Ron. So there was no point."

"How about being honest? God, Harry! Can you imagine what it feels like? We spent all of that time alone, and now finding out how you felt? I feel violated."

"What?"

"I'm sorry. It's -"

"No no no! What the hell is that supposed to mean? You feel violated?"

"Well," Hermione took a moment to think, suddenly afraid of what she was about to say, "I thought you were my friend. Just my friend. Knowing that we spent months, just alone with each other, with your mind filled with… those kinds of thoughts? It makes me feel… ugh," said Hermione with a shudder.

"Those kinds of thoughts?" Harry repeated very quietly.

"Just put yourself in my shoes, would you? And then imagine having to spend weeks alone in a tent with Romilda Vane. How would -"

"Romilda Vane? That's how you see me?" Harry asked quietly in a high-pitched tone.

"No, but… I don't know Harry. It's just - I feel like I don't know you."

Harry slowly nodded, suddenly feeling inexplicably calm as he focused on his own breathing.

"I'm sorry, but it's just -" said Hermione.

"No, you're right," interrupted Harry.

"No! Listen. The rational part of me doesn't even believe what I just said. It's just these horrible thoughts that keep making me mad. I don't even think I'm angry at you, I'm just angry."

"Okay," said Harry, a bit confused and unsure what to say.

"I know you, and I trust you. Of course I do. But I just keep having these horrible thoughts of you perving over me."

"I never perved over you!"

"That's what I'm saying. I don't actually believe it myself but that's what my brain keeps imagining. Like… ok, this one might even be real. But I keep thinking about all the times I've hugged you, and now I'm wondering if you wanted to kiss me whenever I did."

"I didn't. Maybe I liked and longed for your hugs more than you thought, but no… your hugs were enough for me."

"What about that time we danced?" Hermione asked quietly.

Harry took a deep breath. "Ok, that time, I was hoping that the moment wouldn't end. I wasn't directly hoping that you'll kiss me or anything. I was just hoping for something more. I wanted to make you happy, for more than just that minute, but I wasn't going to try to kiss you."

"But what else do you mean? What's something more? We were already best friends."

"That's not… I don't know how to explain it."

"Try!"

"Ok…" said Harry, continuing after a few seconds, "first, I almost never had naughty thoughts about you."

"That sounds like a lie," said Hermione matter-of-factly.

"I'm serious. I had a few weird dreams and very occasional thoughts, but I really didn't like having them. I don't really have 'sexual'," said Harry with a little shudder, looking at his hands, "thoughts all that often. Here's my most frequent thought about you. Whenever I lie down to sleep and close my eyes, I imagine you lying down behind me and just putting your arm around me. And that's it. Maybe you'd lean over and kiss my forehead. Sometimes I'd ask you if you love me, and my brain would imagine you saying yes. But that's the extent of it."

"Harry…" Hermione said softly after a few seconds.

"The problem is… After I realised that you and Ron liked each other, even those simple thoughts felt wrong. And I've been trying so hard not to have them, but I can't stop. I really want to," said Harry, meeting her eyes for a second before looking away, "and that's why I think I should keep a little distance from you. As for not telling you for so long, trust me Hermione, I was terrified of telling you. Can you imagine if I'd told you in the tent, and then that locket had affected you? What if it made you want to leave me like Ron?"

"Harry, I wouldn't -"

"I couldn't risk it. I couldn't even imagine carrying on without you."

"Harry…" said Hermione softly, coming closer to him. She sighed and said, "are we just in the middle of a silly misunderstanding right now? Because if you're just hoping for the things you mentioned just now, then you have nothing to worry about. You'll always be my best friend."

Harry shook his head, "I didn't explain it correctly then. Sorry, I don't want there to be any ambiguity." He glanced towards the stairs, making sure Ron or Mrs Weasley's footsteps weren't audible before continuing firmly, "I don't just want to be your best friend."

"Everything you just described makes it sound like you do.."

"No! I want to be the person closest to you. If that had just meant that nothing changed in our relationship, I'd be fine with it. If it meant that you'd want to kiss me and do other stuff, I'd be ok."

"Argh," moaned Hermione before saying, "why do you have to make it so complicated?"

"Sorry, I just wanted to be clear."

"Right… so you would have been fine being just my best friend as long as I didn't get a boyfriend."

"Kind of," said Harry hesitantly.

"So selfish of you," said Hermione after a few seconds in a slightly playful tone.

Harry nodded.

They were both silent for a few seconds, before Hermione said, "Mrs Weasley has been up there for a really long time, hasn't she?"

"I'm gonna guess at least one of them is crying," said Harry.

"You're probably right."

"You should go check on them. Ron would probably really appreciate if you did."

"Hmm, or he might get really angry over basically nothing again."

Harry sighed. "I shouldn't have said the Head Boy thing. As soon as I said it, I knew he'd be mad. I should've realised before I said it and stopped. Oh and congratulations, by the way."

"Thanks," said Hermione.

Again, they were silent for a while before Harry said, "You know, I think it's going to be a few months before we talk again like this."

"Is it?"

"Yes. I think it would be really good for me."

"Alright," said Hermione with a sigh, "I'm gonna miss you."

Harry smiled, "I'm gonna miss you too."

"Thanks for being so upfront today. I still haven't really processed it, but I think it will help… in some way."

"Right," said Harry, getting up, "I'll go say bye to Ginny and George."

"Not those two?" Hermione asked, gesturing towards the stairs.

"Might be awkward. I'll probably see them again in one or two days again anyway."

Hermione chuckled, "yeah, see you then."

"I'll just say hello to you and then no talking for us."

"We'll see."

"Damn it, I wanted to say bye in a sad mood," said Harry.

Hermione smiled and said in an exceptionally cheery tone, "nope, byeee!"

Harry shook his head but smiled back before heading out the door.

* * *

 **A/N:  
** I've decided that Harry's going to be asexual (romantic) in this fic.

I realise that this is an unusual decision, and sorry if it's disappointing to you (and makes you not want to read this fic), but I wanted to delve into romantic feelings and attraction to others in this fic, and I think my personal experiences as an ace would make it more honest and genuine.

Feel free to ask anything specific in the comments.


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